A few of my favorite things

As it is the last day of the year, I will list my favorite things that I can remember about my year. If I've left out something huge...it doesn't mean I didn't love it...it means I have a bad memory.

1. Travel (DC, MD, VA, NYC, MI, TX, AZ, IL, Canada)


2. Cleaning lady


3. Reading


4. Training to be a coach


5. Coaching


6. Certified as a coach


7. My daughter singing on stage


8. My son learning that he loves baseball


9. Teaching my daughter and her friends do the Hoedown Throwdown


10. Dates with my husband


11. Walks with my friend


12. Friday wine downs with friends in the 'hood


13. Celebrating my 40th with my dearest friends (in Austin)


14. Communing with my tribe of coaches in Phoenix and in Chicago


15. Coaching Martha Beck (twice)


16. Changing schools


17. Getting healthier


18. Learning my limits


19. Therapy


20. My Monday morning calls with my peeps


21. Seeing my family more than once this year (three times in fact)


22. Celebrating 14 years of marriage to my dear husband


23. Watching my children grow and mature and loving every minute of it


24. Realizing that I love to read, learn and then connect what I know with others


25. Writing my blog (duh!)


26. Getting to know my almost adult nieces better


27. Photographing babies


28. Feeling artistic


29. Being grateful


30. Deep practice of my coaching skills


31. Staying healthy


32. Seeing rows and rows of tulips
    
33. Recognizing what I'm passionate about (and what I'm not)


34. Changing behavior patterns for the better


35. My husband's love of his new car


36. Having more time to myself (ie less PTA stuff)


37. Coincidences


38. Meaningful connections with friends and family


39. Hummingbirds


40. Being a Positive Polly

To love and be loved

Upon returning home from 10 days with both sides of the family, I have an overwhelming sense of how much I love my family and am loved by them in return. I am feeling full and I am extremely grateful. Just knowing that I am loved makes anything I chose to do feel possible...but also I know that loving myself is where the true magic comes in...and I'm working on that!

At risk

Here is what COULD have been packed in our luggage...

• Cast iron pot


• Supplies to make soaps and shampoos (liquid and dust contents)


• PVC pipe made into a marshmallow shooter


• An opened up cylinder can with a spring attached to it (to make thunder noises)
• Remote control


• Battery operated can opener (as seen on TV)


• Cuisinart hand mixing device

Is it me, or could these elements be considered as some sort of "device" used to threaten the plane and its passengers? Needless to say, I shipped most of those things and left the Lego's, jewelry making kits, clothes, and the such to pass through the xray machines. Given the recent terrorist activities, I think it was a wise choice.

Joyful Moments

My time away from writing has been filled with family, food, festivities, fun (in the snow especially), friends and frantic unwrapping of gifts. I love both sides of my family and love my individual relationships with each and every member. My life is rich and for that I am grateful. Now back to more F's (minus the frantic unwrapping). My wish is that everyone I know and love (and even those whom I don't) can notice and appreciate all that is good in their lives...its worth the noticing.

Peace on earth and good will toward 'humans'!

Gratitude X 10

1. Our own family Christmas (yesterday)



2. My husband's cooking



3. Anticipation (from my kids)



4. Celebrating each other's gifts



5. My new Flip video camera



6. My new cell phone (I'm now operating in the 21st century)



7. My new rain boots (from my daughter)



8. My new cozy blanket (from my son)



9. Our Christmas tree



10. My family.

Picture taken with studio lights (new to me), tripod and camera on timer. It was actually a fun adventure!

Testing my stress

Today I was told I was young, fit and healthy. I want to adopt the woman who said it!

Why was I told this? Because I had a stress test today. I had three women working on me like the fairies from Sleeping Beauty. I felt well cared for as they attached doll-sized jumper cables to my body to measure my heart. I saw my heart on the sonogram machine and I had a mini-out-of-body experience as if I had been here before. Well its cause I have, but the heartbeat I was seeing was my own this time, not my baby's. It is so cool to actually see that workhorse doing its job...fascinating. So once we got a looksie at my heart at rest, I then had to get it revved up to look at it on the other side of rest...which the doctor's like to call stress.

This stress test involves walking on a treadmill as it gradually gets steeper and faster. Here is where I witnessed a phenomenon that I knew in concept but hadn't really witnessed. The concept is that the younger and healthier you are, the harder it is to stress your hear out...and I learned that the hard way. On this treadmill they want you to go from a resting heart rate which I think I saw the number 26 to the number 80. So, I'm chugging along trying to impress them...

sidenote: You're not able to wear a jog bra because they need access to your heart (which happens to lie beneath your boobs) and so on the treadmill I'm trying to impress while also feeling really uncomfortable in the boobage area.

My heart rate was VERY SLOW going up and so I ended up having to go 5 iterations of incline and speed increase and still had to hold a fast run for a bit before it hit 80. Then funny, the nice fairies become more like a pit crew at that point because you have to SPEEDY FAST get on the table and stick the sonogram in the boobage area to witness the heart 'under stress'. I was all sweaty and breathing heavy and just a general mess but...we got what we came for. I felt the whole thing was fascinating and comical at the same time...and I have to say, if I can live in that space (fascinating and comical) for most of my life...I will feel fulfilled and less stressed. I believe that is why with most things, I see the twisted spin.

On that "twisted spin" note...I told the fairies that I could really make the whole thing go a lot quicker if they could get me into some catastrophic anxiety feelings...like maybe, that H1N1 shots give you cancer "on the spot"...that would work!

So my lesson today is healthy hearts take time and energy to stress out. So I intend to keep my heart healthy and to avoid the stress ...life is less sweaty and messy that way...and by golly, harness the boobs when running!

Room for improvement

It seems as if I am in a reflective mode as of late, so I thought I'd start with things about 2009 that I would hope not to repeat in 2010. I will try my 2 minute trick where I'll put down whatever comes to mind in no specific order. Here goes....

1. Anxiety
2. Lack of confidence
3. Bad mommy moments
4. Losing my purse
5. Losing socks
6. Losing control of the mess in the house
7. Feelings of inadequacy
8. Drinking too much
9. Fainting
10. Weight gain
11. Too much mindless time on the computer
12. Not enough alone time with my husband
13. Worrying about schools for the kids
14. Too much PTA
15. Feeling unfocused
16. Saying yes when I meant no
17. Heartbreak
18. Feeling helpless
19. Comparing myself to others too much
20. Not living in the moment enough

Weird...I didn't have the "number" setting on my writing and I finished at 20 without even knowing it. My mind is OCD even when I am not paying attention.

So looking at what I wrote, I could see turning each statement around to its opposite (and to the present tense) to 'set the record straight' so here goes.

1. I am safe and so is my family
2. I am in the process of gaining confidence in myself and the gifts I have
3. I am a conscientious mom who is doing the best I can
4. I respect my belongings
5. Socks are replaceable
6. My house is my sanctuary and I keep it so.
7. I am good enough
8. I drink in moderation
9. My lifestyle and healthy habits make my heart strong
10. I eat to fuel my body and exercise to support my heart; I experience joy and comfort in activities other than food
11. I use my time wisely on things that fulfill my purpose and my soul
12. My children are safe and they are appropriately challenged at school
13. My relationship with my husband is valuable and I enjoy alone time with him
14. I choose to devote my time to doing good in ways that are fulfilling to me
15. I have tools with which to help me focus on what is important to me
16. I honor my yes's and no's based on what feels good and right for me
17. I experience what life gives me fully and in the moment, and I know that I give love as best as I know how
18. I have tools to change my thoughts about any situation
19. I know that my path is my own and I have a great life
20. Reality is the moment I am in, nothing more, nothing less.

OK people...that felt REALLY good and powerful. What a shift to be able to write those statements and know that each are (or can be) true. I recommend this as a way to start the new year. I can see posting these statements somewhere visible to remind me. This activity took no more than 10 minutes...so ready, set, go! It is so WORTH IT!

Reading roundup

In the past 1.5 years I've been on a reading TEAR. Before that, I probably read about 4 books in a year...all of them fiction. This year alone, I've greatly surpassed that...so here..from memory, are my books from 2009.

1. The Joy Diet by Martha Beck


2. Tribes by Seth Godin


3. Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell


4. A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink


5. Escape from Cubicle Nation by Pamela Slim


6. Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck


7. Creating Money by Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer


8. The Joy of Appreciative Living by Jacqueline Kelm


9. The Four Day Win by Martha Beck


10. Expecting Adam by Martha Beck


11. Leaving the Saints by Martha Beck


12. No Matter What by Lisa Nichols


13. The Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More....Michael J. Losier


14. A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen


15. Things I Learned About My Dad (in Therapy) by Heather Armstrong


16. Women: Decode the Law of Attraction by Orly Katz


17. The Power is Within You by Louise Hay


18. Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson

That is off the top of my head and I'm certain there were more...today I finished the only novel I can recall reading this year The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. A nice 'palette cleanser' to end my year. I believe I will record my books from now on and maybe even write some notes...that'll help when the Alzheimer's kicks in. I'm looking for the 'must reads' for next year...anyone, anyone? Next at the top of my pile is The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron...anyone want to join me? Here's to rebooting my reading muscle...I'm expecting to look 'all mentally buff' in 2010.

Picture is of 2 cutie petuties I photographed a week ago!

What about you?

I was coming up with NOTHING to write about today...or nothing I wanted to delve into ...so then, out of thin air a question came to me "What about you?" ...why that question? hmmmm

What about me (or does it mean YOU)? About me right now is that I feel like I'm hunkering down for some introspection, learning about myself, and releasing of thoughts that have not been serving me well. It almost feels as if I'm just about to dive in for some reason. As a result I feel this 'nesting' about myself. I have a slew of books I want to finish, I want my office to be purged a bit. I want to give myself some space while also wanting to put structures together...kind of a push and pull on that one. Right now I feel tons of tugs and pulls on my heart/core. I feel things more when I read something that rings true. I also feel more when something is yuck. I like this space, it feels like a nice warm pool that supports me and that is safe, but that requires me to let go a bit and float around in it. This is where I'd like to be right now, and then my mind creeps in and does things like makes me compare my progress to others, or makes me feel as though I've not accomplished enough, or makes me feel 'less than' somehow. I think I need to come up with some metaphorical Shepard's hook to reign me back in when I start veering that way (http://www.thework.com/ is actually a good Shepard's hook for me). I think this lovely warm pool is where I'll do my best releasing of old beliefs, and gaining of new awareness (actually, I don't know if its gaining, more than accessing). So...that is "about me".

What about you? I guess if the question were framed with YOU as the subject, I'd say that whomever reads this silly little daily ritual I have, I thank you for participating and supporting me. I feel safe here. I feel authentic here. I feel honored here. This ritual has become a part of me that will be hard to change if in fact I choose to, so for now, I stay, and I thank you for hanging out with me. I will continue this little meander in 2010 and know that some days will be light and aimless and others will be deeper and meaningful (to me...and perhaps to you too!). I'd love to hear from anyone who finds this interesting and maybe give me a little word or two to let me know what you think...even if it is that this blog SUCKs. Sometimes I need to hear that too to remind me that I cannot please everyone...sometimes I think I'm powerful enough to do that (which I call a people pleasing dis-ease)...Anyway...that is my very twisty-twirly way of writing a blog today based on a random question that came into my head, that really made no sense at first...and then it did (ish).

Gratitude X 10

1. Meeting new people


2. Taking pictures


3. Reading interesting books


4. Writing blogposts


5. Sleeping


6. Talking with my kids


7. Dressing fancy for a work party


8. Listening to classical music


9. Walking with my friend


10. Being grateful for all that I have

Meet Jedi, he is a member of the family I photographed yesterday! I love the one ear up that he does.

Taking note

Dear Mother Nature,

I wanted you to know that I've noticed a trend here in the Pacific Northwest. I have seen more blue sky this fall than any other fall in my 3 year stay. Thank you. It does wonders for my spirits to witness the beauty of this area. I am willing to sacrifice my warmth for this experience...as at the moment I see 21 on the thermometer.

I would like to ask you a favor Momma N.; will you please consider NOT gracing us with a wondrous snowstorm until AFTER my family has safely departed to our holiday destination. I have two reasons, 1) is that I would prefer not having to make up snow days in June and 2) I would like to avoid a repeat of last year's almost-missing-Christmas-due-to-snowstorm.

In return, I will continue to marvel at all that you've blessed this planet with, hummingbirds and eagles, perfect roses with unmatchable smells, expansive lakes, amazing mountain ranges, Mt. Ranier, majestic evergreens...and that is just a sampling of what I can see in "my little world".

Thank you for considering my request, and for all that you do...it is a constant job to get the sun and moon to rise on a daily basis...and I appreciate you for that. Many blessings...love, Chief

Time stood still

Today felt like time stood still...I did so many things and still felt like I had tons of time to spare. I like these days when time is on my side. Today I:

• Shared an hour of deep introspection with a friend


• Got acupuncture on my shoulder


• Had a lovely lunch date with my book and myself


• Went to the market


• Picked up a gift


• Replenished my vitamin supply


• Bought a coat for my son


• Chatted with a friend I'd not seen in ages

I then made it home in time to spend an hour of quiet before my munchkins arrived home to bless my home with their presence...now is the time to cap this perfect day off with an evening of merriment with my neighbors. Today was a good day...and I expect more where that came from!

Iron ON

Today I ironed a shirt. I don't normally iron, but today I was going to a networking event and felt compelled to actually upgrade my mommy-look to a bit more 'mod casual'. As I was ironing my shirt I thought of my dad who taught me to iron. I remember the actual day he taught me and the yellow button-down (with green chinos to complement them -gag). I believe my dad learned his ironing technique in the military, and then he passed it down to me. As I was doing the collar, then the yoke, then the sleeves, then the buttons and so forth, I was transported to the day when I was probably 14 and preparing to go to a family event with "his side".

So, I didn't actually wear the ironed shirt (because I was fickle this morning), but I loved the fond memory of my dad teaching me that lifelong skill. I also love the feeling that I actually WAS IRONING which meant I am 'upgrading' my social interactions to where I actually meet people who don't even have kids (perhaps) and if they do have them, I may never know. I was pumped about this...and as a result I had a GREAT 2-hour event with some neat-o people. At the end as a closing, we made a proverb of our own by going around the circle and each of us saying a word, then another, then another...I was under a lot of pressure because I happened to be the LAST person I wanted to make a profound ending. Well, this proverb thing could easily end up being nonsensical and gibberish depending upon where each person goes with his or her word, but not MY group...we came up with something profound (and I'm not even kidding). Here is the proverb of the day that was generated ONE person and ONE word at a time (by 14 people total)....

When the voices come from inside, you don't need to worry what to think! (my word was think)

Clean machine

Today I made an extra special stop at the car wash. I let the washer hut do the outside and I vacuumed the inside. There is something about a clean car that somehow give you a sense of hope (or something I cannot put my finger on). It feels like..."yes, I'm on top of things, my car is clean", or it feels like "yes, now I will be proud when someone looks at or steps into my car". I feel as though with my clean car, I am in control of my life.

Here are my thoughts with a newly cleaned car:

• I will NEVER let it get messy again


• My kids with NEVER eat in the car again


• I will stay on top of the crap going in and crap going out of the car


• I will get the outside cleaned more often.

Then...you know the story...reality sets in. That one big day out with the kids, where a lot of junk gets in, you hurriedly throw food at them between events, and you forget to remind them to pick up their junk...and then it is back, right where it began needing a good clean out. The positive of this, is that you get to experience the euphoric feelings (see above) again...and the process repeats itself. I do hold the hope that "one day" my car will remain 'kept' consistently, and that all my socks will consistently have mates. A girl can dream can't she?

Hit-or-miss

I have been hit-or miss with my posting recently...and I'm cool with that. It's usually the next morning when I realize I missed and then sometimes I'll forget and miss again. On Sunday I broke with my normal gratitude session and I'm cool with that too...even though I am extremely grateful for an extremely long list of things...I just plain forgot.

So what else is hit or miss for me?

1. Scheduling on a calendar so that I don't double book events



2. Avoiding candy



3. Saying yes when I really wanted to say no



4. Getting frustrated



5. Keeping my car clean



6. Straightening the house



7. Losing socks



8. Feeling confident



9. Exercising



10. Staying focused on the task at hand



11. Being on time

Those are just a few of the hit-or-miss things on my list...and again, I'm cool with these. These make me human. These make me have goals to strive for. These actually make me laugh about myself and for that...I am grateful. And oh by the way, as I am oft to say, I'm doing the best that I can with the resources I have!

Morning visions

I was up at the crack of dawn this morning sifting through piles of winter gear. It turns out the kids have grown AND we've lost some essentials for snow play. I just sent my kids out looking a bit 'patched together' to go skiing with Dad. Actually, Dad will be in the lodge reading while the kids are in ski lessons. I am not sure the kids are really keen on this, it almost felt like I was sending them off to some torture program.

Whenever dad adventures take place I am a little on edge (for the kids). I might be generalizing a bit, but, dad's attention to details can be a little off and so sometimes they believe the kids will 'get by' with whatever is in the car. It is TRUE that they will live, however, with some planning, the kids may also have a good time and not whine as much. So, I COULD HAVE let my husband get the kids together for this skiing "adventure" but I'm not sure if they'd have been warm OR had essential equipment like say, socks. Also, I know how uncomfortable it can be to be cold and skiing and then hot and skiing and then back to cold, so it is nice to consider this when dressing the kids. So the vision I'm left with is: my daughter wearing MY ski coat, not-very-waterproof pants with three layers of under-wear, my turtleneck, my thick shirt, my ski socks, and snow boots that do not match the rest of the get up. My son is wearing a coat that is last year's and is too small (almost 3/4 length sleeves), with a shell underneath to hopefully cover the part of his arms that the coat doesn't cover and my husband's ski socks, his boots are hand-me-downs that again, aren't that stylish. It was an ordeal and a vision as they slogged (because they had all of this mismatched gear on) to the car.

Another "dad adventure" worry is that I believe mom's have the ability to be a little more patient especially when there are complicating factors - like ski boots, hats, gloves, snotty noses etc. So, I did a little prayer of patience for both my husband and the kids. I know all told that they will be fine, but it is always a mom's/wife's wish that everyone is enjoying themselves with the least amount of hassle as possible. It's just in our DNA to want that! I'm just sayin'.

Photo is from this morning's sun rise that I witnessed.

First of many...

I just got home from my first of many holiday parties for2009. I love that I have friends to laugh with and enjoy each other's company. It makes me feel warm and cozy inside. Now I will retire to my warm and cozy bed! Bon Soir

Flash forward

I've had two "visions" of my daughter's future self one good and one notso. I'll start with the notso so I can end on a positive note.

Today her hair wasn't up to standard (according to her). So she worked and worked, and huffed and puffed, but to no avail. In the process of this salon treatment, she started treating everyone else in the house like we were such a bother and started the silent treatment with me. I don't do silent treatment and bullying. So...unfortunately sometimes I'd "match" her temperament which probably isn't the best. Anyway, this is what I'm imagining teenage years to look like, but I'm hoping I'm wrong. I kissed her head and said I love you and have a good day. Silence. So...what do I do...threaten...isn't that nice? I say, if you cannot figure out how to treat me nicely perhaps that special playdate this afternoon will have to be cancelled. To which she turned with tears in her eyes and says...Its just that my HAIR WON'T WORK...and she turns and walks to the bus. Holy tomato, I can't wait until zits and bras and the such enter the picture.

OK now the good future...my daughter is doing a PowerPoint presentation for school. My power point skills stagnated circa 2000 when I did my last "professional" one, but I can hold my own. So, I was prepared to help her out. Well, it turns out that my daughter is a whiz at PPT and in fact can add sound, and special features like slides fading in and out and the such. She also seems to have pretty good design skills and this presentation is shaping up to be very professional. The problem is that it is a bit 'smoke and mirrors' at the moment because she is focusing more on the whiz bang than on the content. I am subtly trying to move her to the next slide she needs to make...but there is still some graphic, picture, highlighting etc to be done. I wish I could teach her the skill of doing a quick draft first of everything and then tarting it up later...just because we could be having a battle (see above) on the day before it is due. The positive of this is that I see that she is talented at design and her attention to detail is good...I believe both will be of benefit to her in the future...but please, my sweet child, can we get to the next slide?

And that is how my day started...AND I have a heart monitor on. I wonder if I should write a note that says...Dear Dr. Cardiologist, from 7:30-8:30 I was wrangling a preteen, so that huge spike in my heart-rate...that is normal!