Gratitude X 10

1. Our new school - me likey
2. Ride on a friend's fancy boat
3. Dinner with same friends
4. Coaching calls
5. Cool-ish weather
6. Kid haircuts
7. Times-tables 90% covered
8. Bike rides with friends
9. Brewery at the end of said bike ride
10. Movie watching with husband

Pictures - Left is from Lion at chinese restaurant, Right is from wedding I attended a few weeks ago...they made me think of the same thing.

Now what?

As of yesterday, I have stepped down from post as president (of the PTA). We are now attending a very different school than before. This brings me so much relief that I think it will take a while to figure out what that means for me. I NEVER saw myself as the PTA president. I saw myself as someone doing what I felt needed to be done to help keep a school that was struggling (both financially and academically) afloat. I felt compelled to be of support in whatever way I could. I believe with my background in Change Management I was able to see the big picture and help to move the school where it needed to go...but I really never had 'designs' to be the president. I guess its what I felt I HAD to do.

Now, we will be attending a school that looks like it has a lot of "presidential" candidates and perhaps has an easy time filling its seats on the PTA board. It is possible that I could be a "good volunteer" and that is it. Now...how do I keep that perspective and not get tied up in PTA'ness again? I need to keep my head low and sit on my hands....that is what I need to do. Somehow, once I wrote that I could feel the 'doubt' in me...that I'll be able to do that. I have a "partner in crime" going to the same school so we'll have to set up some "checks and balances" for ourselves to keep us appropriately dedicated but not overbooked. Each of us are thinking about branching out to doing more career-enhancing activities so that will help us focused on our goals. What is the point of this blog?...I think it is some self talk...it is for me to acknowledge my relief of the "weight" I was carrying at the other school and now it is a time to rewrite my goals as a parent of elementary-age kids. It feels really good...I like it....I hope it lasts...please keep me honest on this goal of "less is more".

Pins and needles

I am awaiting word as to where my children will attend school. The district had to rifle through more requests than they had predicted (is my guess) and so our 'eleventh hour' is nigh when we should have known way in advance so that we could prepare our kids, buy school supplies, attend the "meet and greet" at the school. As I write this, the meet and greet at the school we would like to attend is happening....but I feel compelled to sit in my chair and wait for the call. I feel that it is risky to move from my post just in case they decide to only honor the requests if you happen to be there when they call...or the place is given to someone else. Although I know that is ludicrous to think that, at this point I don't want to ruin my chances. My heart is beating fast, my legs are shaking (nervous tick I share with my brother), and I'm sweating (wanna smell?)...I wasn't even this nervous on my wedding day. So...here I sit...watching a proverbial "pot boil".

Learn me some facts

One of the complaints I have about the school curriculum in our district is that they do not require the kids to memorize their times tables. So, it has been my job this summer to 'learn my daughter her times tables'. Learnin' with mommy has never been a good thing. My daughter and I butt heads (or I would like to say that my daughter does the first butting and then it goes downhill from there). My summer was a mad mess so I hadn't had a chance to sit and focus until now. We had done worksheets but not really just sitting down and going for it. So every day this week I have worked with my daughter on her times tables. It is a rough go. It is hard to convince her that it is for her own good. I even used the dreaded comparison (which I know isn't fair) to her friend who knows most of them. I am using all sorts of tactics (and bribery is next on my list). We're getting there slowly but surely...and I am hell bent on making this happen. I will soon be switching to my 3rd grade drone of reciting the frickin times tables...like this....7x2=14, 7x3=21, 7x4=28 ...oh Lordy please get me through this without wringing my daughter's neck.

Not feelin' it

Today, I am feeling blocked for the first time in a while. I think there are several things at play here:

1. I'm bored with myself


2. I have low energy


3. I'm conflicted about life changes that are happening


4. I've been reading some great writing and feeling inadequate


5. Nothing is inspiring me at the moment


6. All of the above


7. None of the above


8. Something totally different.

I even spent time today trying to find inspiration. I read other blogs, I read some quotes that might give me a boost...and I got "nothin'". I was looking for a quote on anticipation (as I'm anxiously awaiting word on WHERE MY KIDS WILL BE GOING TO SCHOOL NEXT TUESDAY). Here is one that feels appropriate

In the landscape of time, there are few locations less comfortable than that of one who waits for some person or event to arrive at some unknown moment in the future.
Robert Grudin
Source: Time and the Art of Living, Page: 102

And this one works from my fear of flying and swine flu

"There is no terror in a bang; only in the anticipation of it."
Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)
Source: Alfred Hitchcock

So, that is all I've got today...not feelin' it at all. I think maybe a nap or just general "boob tube" time could be what I want. I bet a walk would be a better thing...but again, I'm not feelin' it.

Mood choosing

Today I awakened before the sun was up and thought it was the middle of the night. I was ready for a long go at the "toss and turn" of trying to fall back asleep...but being the smart woman I am, I looked at the clock and found that it was 5:30am...a reasonable-ish hour to get out of bed. So, I headed out to an exercise class and got my day started.

My day had started on such a good note that I even wrote down things that I was grateful for: blue sky, music, exercise, healthy food, time to read, making headway on my "to-do" list, ability to facilitate a meeting with my "tribe"....etc. While I was at it, I decided to make a list of 10 things I'd like to accomplish today and 5 were already done by 10am.

This is the kind of mood I'd like to choose on a daily basis. This feeling of "skip in my step" is addicting....so how do I keep this "high"....I think the key is awareness. My intention today is to notice my mood and observe the circumstances, feelings, actions and reactions I have. My hope is that I will have mostly positive 'good mood' things today but if something should make me stumble....I will notice and observe and attempt to redirect. Just talking about it in this way makes me excited to play "mood anthropologist" for a day. The key is to take note and report the facts (without judgement) and then to make observations on the trends and what might be learned or changed. My first data point moving forward will be that I feel a sense of accomplishment and pride once I hit the "publish post" button on my blog....click!

Gratitude X 10

1. Changes
2. Certification
3. Choices
4. Connections
5. Celebrations
6. Children
7. Conversations
8. Centered-ness
9. Courage
10. Contentment

Life may change, but it may fly not;

Hope may vanish, but can die not;

Truth be veiled, but still it burneth;

Love repulsed, - but it returneth.

Shelley - Hellas