A few of my favorite things

As it is the last day of the year, I will list my favorite things that I can remember about my year. If I've left out something huge...it doesn't mean I didn't love it...it means I have a bad memory.

1. Travel (DC, MD, VA, NYC, MI, TX, AZ, IL, Canada)


2. Cleaning lady


3. Reading


4. Training to be a coach


5. Coaching


6. Certified as a coach


7. My daughter singing on stage


8. My son learning that he loves baseball


9. Teaching my daughter and her friends do the Hoedown Throwdown


10. Dates with my husband


11. Walks with my friend


12. Friday wine downs with friends in the 'hood


13. Celebrating my 40th with my dearest friends (in Austin)


14. Communing with my tribe of coaches in Phoenix and in Chicago


15. Coaching Martha Beck (twice)


16. Changing schools


17. Getting healthier


18. Learning my limits


19. Therapy


20. My Monday morning calls with my peeps


21. Seeing my family more than once this year (three times in fact)


22. Celebrating 14 years of marriage to my dear husband


23. Watching my children grow and mature and loving every minute of it


24. Realizing that I love to read, learn and then connect what I know with others


25. Writing my blog (duh!)


26. Getting to know my almost adult nieces better


27. Photographing babies


28. Feeling artistic


29. Being grateful


30. Deep practice of my coaching skills


31. Staying healthy


32. Seeing rows and rows of tulips
    
33. Recognizing what I'm passionate about (and what I'm not)


34. Changing behavior patterns for the better


35. My husband's love of his new car


36. Having more time to myself (ie less PTA stuff)


37. Coincidences


38. Meaningful connections with friends and family


39. Hummingbirds


40. Being a Positive Polly

To love and be loved

Upon returning home from 10 days with both sides of the family, I have an overwhelming sense of how much I love my family and am loved by them in return. I am feeling full and I am extremely grateful. Just knowing that I am loved makes anything I chose to do feel possible...but also I know that loving myself is where the true magic comes in...and I'm working on that!

At risk

Here is what COULD have been packed in our luggage...

• Cast iron pot


• Supplies to make soaps and shampoos (liquid and dust contents)


• PVC pipe made into a marshmallow shooter


• An opened up cylinder can with a spring attached to it (to make thunder noises)
• Remote control


• Battery operated can opener (as seen on TV)


• Cuisinart hand mixing device

Is it me, or could these elements be considered as some sort of "device" used to threaten the plane and its passengers? Needless to say, I shipped most of those things and left the Lego's, jewelry making kits, clothes, and the such to pass through the xray machines. Given the recent terrorist activities, I think it was a wise choice.

Joyful Moments

My time away from writing has been filled with family, food, festivities, fun (in the snow especially), friends and frantic unwrapping of gifts. I love both sides of my family and love my individual relationships with each and every member. My life is rich and for that I am grateful. Now back to more F's (minus the frantic unwrapping). My wish is that everyone I know and love (and even those whom I don't) can notice and appreciate all that is good in their lives...its worth the noticing.

Peace on earth and good will toward 'humans'!

Gratitude X 10

1. Our own family Christmas (yesterday)



2. My husband's cooking



3. Anticipation (from my kids)



4. Celebrating each other's gifts



5. My new Flip video camera



6. My new cell phone (I'm now operating in the 21st century)



7. My new rain boots (from my daughter)



8. My new cozy blanket (from my son)



9. Our Christmas tree



10. My family.

Picture taken with studio lights (new to me), tripod and camera on timer. It was actually a fun adventure!

Testing my stress

Today I was told I was young, fit and healthy. I want to adopt the woman who said it!

Why was I told this? Because I had a stress test today. I had three women working on me like the fairies from Sleeping Beauty. I felt well cared for as they attached doll-sized jumper cables to my body to measure my heart. I saw my heart on the sonogram machine and I had a mini-out-of-body experience as if I had been here before. Well its cause I have, but the heartbeat I was seeing was my own this time, not my baby's. It is so cool to actually see that workhorse doing its job...fascinating. So once we got a looksie at my heart at rest, I then had to get it revved up to look at it on the other side of rest...which the doctor's like to call stress.

This stress test involves walking on a treadmill as it gradually gets steeper and faster. Here is where I witnessed a phenomenon that I knew in concept but hadn't really witnessed. The concept is that the younger and healthier you are, the harder it is to stress your hear out...and I learned that the hard way. On this treadmill they want you to go from a resting heart rate which I think I saw the number 26 to the number 80. So, I'm chugging along trying to impress them...

sidenote: You're not able to wear a jog bra because they need access to your heart (which happens to lie beneath your boobs) and so on the treadmill I'm trying to impress while also feeling really uncomfortable in the boobage area.

My heart rate was VERY SLOW going up and so I ended up having to go 5 iterations of incline and speed increase and still had to hold a fast run for a bit before it hit 80. Then funny, the nice fairies become more like a pit crew at that point because you have to SPEEDY FAST get on the table and stick the sonogram in the boobage area to witness the heart 'under stress'. I was all sweaty and breathing heavy and just a general mess but...we got what we came for. I felt the whole thing was fascinating and comical at the same time...and I have to say, if I can live in that space (fascinating and comical) for most of my life...I will feel fulfilled and less stressed. I believe that is why with most things, I see the twisted spin.

On that "twisted spin" note...I told the fairies that I could really make the whole thing go a lot quicker if they could get me into some catastrophic anxiety feelings...like maybe, that H1N1 shots give you cancer "on the spot"...that would work!

So my lesson today is healthy hearts take time and energy to stress out. So I intend to keep my heart healthy and to avoid the stress ...life is less sweaty and messy that way...and by golly, harness the boobs when running!

Room for improvement

It seems as if I am in a reflective mode as of late, so I thought I'd start with things about 2009 that I would hope not to repeat in 2010. I will try my 2 minute trick where I'll put down whatever comes to mind in no specific order. Here goes....

1. Anxiety
2. Lack of confidence
3. Bad mommy moments
4. Losing my purse
5. Losing socks
6. Losing control of the mess in the house
7. Feelings of inadequacy
8. Drinking too much
9. Fainting
10. Weight gain
11. Too much mindless time on the computer
12. Not enough alone time with my husband
13. Worrying about schools for the kids
14. Too much PTA
15. Feeling unfocused
16. Saying yes when I meant no
17. Heartbreak
18. Feeling helpless
19. Comparing myself to others too much
20. Not living in the moment enough

Weird...I didn't have the "number" setting on my writing and I finished at 20 without even knowing it. My mind is OCD even when I am not paying attention.

So looking at what I wrote, I could see turning each statement around to its opposite (and to the present tense) to 'set the record straight' so here goes.

1. I am safe and so is my family
2. I am in the process of gaining confidence in myself and the gifts I have
3. I am a conscientious mom who is doing the best I can
4. I respect my belongings
5. Socks are replaceable
6. My house is my sanctuary and I keep it so.
7. I am good enough
8. I drink in moderation
9. My lifestyle and healthy habits make my heart strong
10. I eat to fuel my body and exercise to support my heart; I experience joy and comfort in activities other than food
11. I use my time wisely on things that fulfill my purpose and my soul
12. My children are safe and they are appropriately challenged at school
13. My relationship with my husband is valuable and I enjoy alone time with him
14. I choose to devote my time to doing good in ways that are fulfilling to me
15. I have tools with which to help me focus on what is important to me
16. I honor my yes's and no's based on what feels good and right for me
17. I experience what life gives me fully and in the moment, and I know that I give love as best as I know how
18. I have tools to change my thoughts about any situation
19. I know that my path is my own and I have a great life
20. Reality is the moment I am in, nothing more, nothing less.

OK people...that felt REALLY good and powerful. What a shift to be able to write those statements and know that each are (or can be) true. I recommend this as a way to start the new year. I can see posting these statements somewhere visible to remind me. This activity took no more than 10 minutes...so ready, set, go! It is so WORTH IT!

Reading roundup

In the past 1.5 years I've been on a reading TEAR. Before that, I probably read about 4 books in a year...all of them fiction. This year alone, I've greatly surpassed that...so here..from memory, are my books from 2009.

1. The Joy Diet by Martha Beck


2. Tribes by Seth Godin


3. Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell


4. A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink


5. Escape from Cubicle Nation by Pamela Slim


6. Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck


7. Creating Money by Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer


8. The Joy of Appreciative Living by Jacqueline Kelm


9. The Four Day Win by Martha Beck


10. Expecting Adam by Martha Beck


11. Leaving the Saints by Martha Beck


12. No Matter What by Lisa Nichols


13. The Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More....Michael J. Losier


14. A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen


15. Things I Learned About My Dad (in Therapy) by Heather Armstrong


16. Women: Decode the Law of Attraction by Orly Katz


17. The Power is Within You by Louise Hay


18. Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson

That is off the top of my head and I'm certain there were more...today I finished the only novel I can recall reading this year The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. A nice 'palette cleanser' to end my year. I believe I will record my books from now on and maybe even write some notes...that'll help when the Alzheimer's kicks in. I'm looking for the 'must reads' for next year...anyone, anyone? Next at the top of my pile is The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron...anyone want to join me? Here's to rebooting my reading muscle...I'm expecting to look 'all mentally buff' in 2010.

Picture is of 2 cutie petuties I photographed a week ago!

What about you?

I was coming up with NOTHING to write about today...or nothing I wanted to delve into ...so then, out of thin air a question came to me "What about you?" ...why that question? hmmmm

What about me (or does it mean YOU)? About me right now is that I feel like I'm hunkering down for some introspection, learning about myself, and releasing of thoughts that have not been serving me well. It almost feels as if I'm just about to dive in for some reason. As a result I feel this 'nesting' about myself. I have a slew of books I want to finish, I want my office to be purged a bit. I want to give myself some space while also wanting to put structures together...kind of a push and pull on that one. Right now I feel tons of tugs and pulls on my heart/core. I feel things more when I read something that rings true. I also feel more when something is yuck. I like this space, it feels like a nice warm pool that supports me and that is safe, but that requires me to let go a bit and float around in it. This is where I'd like to be right now, and then my mind creeps in and does things like makes me compare my progress to others, or makes me feel as though I've not accomplished enough, or makes me feel 'less than' somehow. I think I need to come up with some metaphorical Shepard's hook to reign me back in when I start veering that way (http://www.thework.com/ is actually a good Shepard's hook for me). I think this lovely warm pool is where I'll do my best releasing of old beliefs, and gaining of new awareness (actually, I don't know if its gaining, more than accessing). So...that is "about me".

What about you? I guess if the question were framed with YOU as the subject, I'd say that whomever reads this silly little daily ritual I have, I thank you for participating and supporting me. I feel safe here. I feel authentic here. I feel honored here. This ritual has become a part of me that will be hard to change if in fact I choose to, so for now, I stay, and I thank you for hanging out with me. I will continue this little meander in 2010 and know that some days will be light and aimless and others will be deeper and meaningful (to me...and perhaps to you too!). I'd love to hear from anyone who finds this interesting and maybe give me a little word or two to let me know what you think...even if it is that this blog SUCKs. Sometimes I need to hear that too to remind me that I cannot please everyone...sometimes I think I'm powerful enough to do that (which I call a people pleasing dis-ease)...Anyway...that is my very twisty-twirly way of writing a blog today based on a random question that came into my head, that really made no sense at first...and then it did (ish).

Gratitude X 10

1. Meeting new people


2. Taking pictures


3. Reading interesting books


4. Writing blogposts


5. Sleeping


6. Talking with my kids


7. Dressing fancy for a work party


8. Listening to classical music


9. Walking with my friend


10. Being grateful for all that I have

Meet Jedi, he is a member of the family I photographed yesterday! I love the one ear up that he does.

Taking note

Dear Mother Nature,

I wanted you to know that I've noticed a trend here in the Pacific Northwest. I have seen more blue sky this fall than any other fall in my 3 year stay. Thank you. It does wonders for my spirits to witness the beauty of this area. I am willing to sacrifice my warmth for this experience...as at the moment I see 21 on the thermometer.

I would like to ask you a favor Momma N.; will you please consider NOT gracing us with a wondrous snowstorm until AFTER my family has safely departed to our holiday destination. I have two reasons, 1) is that I would prefer not having to make up snow days in June and 2) I would like to avoid a repeat of last year's almost-missing-Christmas-due-to-snowstorm.

In return, I will continue to marvel at all that you've blessed this planet with, hummingbirds and eagles, perfect roses with unmatchable smells, expansive lakes, amazing mountain ranges, Mt. Ranier, majestic evergreens...and that is just a sampling of what I can see in "my little world".

Thank you for considering my request, and for all that you do...it is a constant job to get the sun and moon to rise on a daily basis...and I appreciate you for that. Many blessings...love, Chief

Time stood still

Today felt like time stood still...I did so many things and still felt like I had tons of time to spare. I like these days when time is on my side. Today I:

• Shared an hour of deep introspection with a friend


• Got acupuncture on my shoulder


• Had a lovely lunch date with my book and myself


• Went to the market


• Picked up a gift


• Replenished my vitamin supply


• Bought a coat for my son


• Chatted with a friend I'd not seen in ages

I then made it home in time to spend an hour of quiet before my munchkins arrived home to bless my home with their presence...now is the time to cap this perfect day off with an evening of merriment with my neighbors. Today was a good day...and I expect more where that came from!

Iron ON

Today I ironed a shirt. I don't normally iron, but today I was going to a networking event and felt compelled to actually upgrade my mommy-look to a bit more 'mod casual'. As I was ironing my shirt I thought of my dad who taught me to iron. I remember the actual day he taught me and the yellow button-down (with green chinos to complement them -gag). I believe my dad learned his ironing technique in the military, and then he passed it down to me. As I was doing the collar, then the yoke, then the sleeves, then the buttons and so forth, I was transported to the day when I was probably 14 and preparing to go to a family event with "his side".

So, I didn't actually wear the ironed shirt (because I was fickle this morning), but I loved the fond memory of my dad teaching me that lifelong skill. I also love the feeling that I actually WAS IRONING which meant I am 'upgrading' my social interactions to where I actually meet people who don't even have kids (perhaps) and if they do have them, I may never know. I was pumped about this...and as a result I had a GREAT 2-hour event with some neat-o people. At the end as a closing, we made a proverb of our own by going around the circle and each of us saying a word, then another, then another...I was under a lot of pressure because I happened to be the LAST person I wanted to make a profound ending. Well, this proverb thing could easily end up being nonsensical and gibberish depending upon where each person goes with his or her word, but not MY group...we came up with something profound (and I'm not even kidding). Here is the proverb of the day that was generated ONE person and ONE word at a time (by 14 people total)....

When the voices come from inside, you don't need to worry what to think! (my word was think)

Clean machine

Today I made an extra special stop at the car wash. I let the washer hut do the outside and I vacuumed the inside. There is something about a clean car that somehow give you a sense of hope (or something I cannot put my finger on). It feels like..."yes, I'm on top of things, my car is clean", or it feels like "yes, now I will be proud when someone looks at or steps into my car". I feel as though with my clean car, I am in control of my life.

Here are my thoughts with a newly cleaned car:

• I will NEVER let it get messy again


• My kids with NEVER eat in the car again


• I will stay on top of the crap going in and crap going out of the car


• I will get the outside cleaned more often.

Then...you know the story...reality sets in. That one big day out with the kids, where a lot of junk gets in, you hurriedly throw food at them between events, and you forget to remind them to pick up their junk...and then it is back, right where it began needing a good clean out. The positive of this, is that you get to experience the euphoric feelings (see above) again...and the process repeats itself. I do hold the hope that "one day" my car will remain 'kept' consistently, and that all my socks will consistently have mates. A girl can dream can't she?

Hit-or-miss

I have been hit-or miss with my posting recently...and I'm cool with that. It's usually the next morning when I realize I missed and then sometimes I'll forget and miss again. On Sunday I broke with my normal gratitude session and I'm cool with that too...even though I am extremely grateful for an extremely long list of things...I just plain forgot.

So what else is hit or miss for me?

1. Scheduling on a calendar so that I don't double book events



2. Avoiding candy



3. Saying yes when I really wanted to say no



4. Getting frustrated



5. Keeping my car clean



6. Straightening the house



7. Losing socks



8. Feeling confident



9. Exercising



10. Staying focused on the task at hand



11. Being on time

Those are just a few of the hit-or-miss things on my list...and again, I'm cool with these. These make me human. These make me have goals to strive for. These actually make me laugh about myself and for that...I am grateful. And oh by the way, as I am oft to say, I'm doing the best that I can with the resources I have!

Morning visions

I was up at the crack of dawn this morning sifting through piles of winter gear. It turns out the kids have grown AND we've lost some essentials for snow play. I just sent my kids out looking a bit 'patched together' to go skiing with Dad. Actually, Dad will be in the lodge reading while the kids are in ski lessons. I am not sure the kids are really keen on this, it almost felt like I was sending them off to some torture program.

Whenever dad adventures take place I am a little on edge (for the kids). I might be generalizing a bit, but, dad's attention to details can be a little off and so sometimes they believe the kids will 'get by' with whatever is in the car. It is TRUE that they will live, however, with some planning, the kids may also have a good time and not whine as much. So, I COULD HAVE let my husband get the kids together for this skiing "adventure" but I'm not sure if they'd have been warm OR had essential equipment like say, socks. Also, I know how uncomfortable it can be to be cold and skiing and then hot and skiing and then back to cold, so it is nice to consider this when dressing the kids. So the vision I'm left with is: my daughter wearing MY ski coat, not-very-waterproof pants with three layers of under-wear, my turtleneck, my thick shirt, my ski socks, and snow boots that do not match the rest of the get up. My son is wearing a coat that is last year's and is too small (almost 3/4 length sleeves), with a shell underneath to hopefully cover the part of his arms that the coat doesn't cover and my husband's ski socks, his boots are hand-me-downs that again, aren't that stylish. It was an ordeal and a vision as they slogged (because they had all of this mismatched gear on) to the car.

Another "dad adventure" worry is that I believe mom's have the ability to be a little more patient especially when there are complicating factors - like ski boots, hats, gloves, snotty noses etc. So, I did a little prayer of patience for both my husband and the kids. I know all told that they will be fine, but it is always a mom's/wife's wish that everyone is enjoying themselves with the least amount of hassle as possible. It's just in our DNA to want that! I'm just sayin'.

Photo is from this morning's sun rise that I witnessed.

First of many...

I just got home from my first of many holiday parties for2009. I love that I have friends to laugh with and enjoy each other's company. It makes me feel warm and cozy inside. Now I will retire to my warm and cozy bed! Bon Soir

Flash forward

I've had two "visions" of my daughter's future self one good and one notso. I'll start with the notso so I can end on a positive note.

Today her hair wasn't up to standard (according to her). So she worked and worked, and huffed and puffed, but to no avail. In the process of this salon treatment, she started treating everyone else in the house like we were such a bother and started the silent treatment with me. I don't do silent treatment and bullying. So...unfortunately sometimes I'd "match" her temperament which probably isn't the best. Anyway, this is what I'm imagining teenage years to look like, but I'm hoping I'm wrong. I kissed her head and said I love you and have a good day. Silence. So...what do I do...threaten...isn't that nice? I say, if you cannot figure out how to treat me nicely perhaps that special playdate this afternoon will have to be cancelled. To which she turned with tears in her eyes and says...Its just that my HAIR WON'T WORK...and she turns and walks to the bus. Holy tomato, I can't wait until zits and bras and the such enter the picture.

OK now the good future...my daughter is doing a PowerPoint presentation for school. My power point skills stagnated circa 2000 when I did my last "professional" one, but I can hold my own. So, I was prepared to help her out. Well, it turns out that my daughter is a whiz at PPT and in fact can add sound, and special features like slides fading in and out and the such. She also seems to have pretty good design skills and this presentation is shaping up to be very professional. The problem is that it is a bit 'smoke and mirrors' at the moment because she is focusing more on the whiz bang than on the content. I am subtly trying to move her to the next slide she needs to make...but there is still some graphic, picture, highlighting etc to be done. I wish I could teach her the skill of doing a quick draft first of everything and then tarting it up later...just because we could be having a battle (see above) on the day before it is due. The positive of this is that I see that she is talented at design and her attention to detail is good...I believe both will be of benefit to her in the future...but please, my sweet child, can we get to the next slide?

And that is how my day started...AND I have a heart monitor on. I wonder if I should write a note that says...Dear Dr. Cardiologist, from 7:30-8:30 I was wrangling a preteen, so that huge spike in my heart-rate...that is normal!

Day is done...

Gone the sun...da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da... If you grew up a military kid you'd know the tune to this song. I never learned the words but I distinctly remember stopping at whatever hour it was that they were lowering the flags (if we were on base). You are to stand still and face the flags. Some of those traditions bring a warm feeling to my heart. Those rituals made you feel you were part of something, and it was always cool as a child to do things like say the Pledge of Allegiance or stop when you know you're supposed to and pay your respects to the flag.

Wow...I thought I had nothing to say this evening in my VERY LATE post...but I did and along with it, I have the feelings of nostalgia and fondness...how cool is that? Perhaps I should call it a day...AT EASE.

And on that note....Happy Birthday to my dear father, who provided me with the opportunity to experience said ritual! I love you!

Gratitude X 10

1. Christmas trees


2. Children decorating Christmas trees


3. Children dancing to Christmas music


4. Children singing Christmas music


5. Children reading Christmas books


6. Sparkly lights on Christmas trees


7. Children's Christmas "artwork" from year's past


8. Pictures of children on Santa's laps (especially the crying one)


9. Christmas shows


10. FINISHED WITH CHRISTMAS SHOPPING (98% at least there is always room for one more stocking stuffer)

PLEASE NOTE: I would not be saying any of this BEFORE Thanksgiving...there is a time and place for celebrating the season and if you could tell advertisers that, I'd be grateful!

Humor in crisis - love it!

Wanna know the quickest way to end a family vacation? Wake up at 6am with a racing heart and proceed to faint...that'll get your family's attention.

We had a ONE DAY (versus the planned 3 day) trip to Vancouver and then made our journey back home for me to be seen by a doctor, get an EKG and then to have a heart monitor in a few days. Current rules: no caffeine, no alcohol, no decongestants and this is the hard one...no driving.

Here is what my husband woke up to...."Honey I need you to call a doctor something is very wrong." He makes the call to the front desk and says, "we have a medical problem please send a doctor"...after I heard that, the next thing I know I am opening my eyes to my husband calling my name and my body is sweating profusely. Just as quickly as it all came on, it ended. My heart had stopped its rapid beating and I was merely frightened and a little shaken up by the incident. Fast forward about 15 minutes and we have a knock on our door...my husband answers the door and quickly says "no thank you" and closes the door. It turns out that there was a bit of a communication break down with the front desk...instead of hearing "A DOCTOR" they heard "ADAPTOR". I still am laughing about that one. The good thing from my perspective is that I'm certain that the ADAPTOR (I mean DOCTOR) would have cost a pretty Canadian penny. Since I was feeling fine, I decided to communicate with my health care provider and use their services instead of finding care locally. Unfortunately that meant leaving our lovely hotel and all of the fun activities we had planned and to make the journey home...to be seen by my primary care ADAPTOR (OK enough with that). After my visit today, I have no clear steer on what happened and my guess is that after we do the cardiac heart monitor thing for 24 hours, we will be able to chalk my episode up to dehydration, decongestants (taken 24 hours before), alcohol, and just a series of unfortunate events.

In that moment of calling out for help from my husband, I certainly was of the belief that I possibly was about to meet my maker...thank God that wasn't the case! I did not see any white lights...I pretty much saw 'nuthin'. Here's to another day with my family. Here's to an understanding family who quietly accepted the fate of our trip. Here's to my husband who took this event very seriously. Here's to healthy living...decaf tea will be my drink of choice...Chamomile is quite comforting!

do jeh

Do jeh is one of many ways to say thank you.

This Thanksgiving will not be a traditional one for my family. We're off to Canada (where they don't celebrate the US version) and we'll probably have Chinese as we hear Vancouver is known for it. I don't know why, but doing the Bizarro Thanksgiving makes me feel giddy! With all that said...I have another year to give thanks for all that I have in my life and wish blessings for my friends and family near and far...and also to pretty much everyone on this planet just 'cause I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Let them eat DIM SUM!

Between 2 worlds

Hello Tuesday, so sorry I missed you Monday. I tried to finish this post yesterday but it got too heavy and so I went and watched Heros with my husband instead...a wise choice I think! So...here is the post!

Recently in my new quest for living a consciously happy and fulfilling life, I've noticed a phenomenon with my clients, colleagues, and myself. It almost feels as though we operate in 2 separate worlds. We have the world of finding ourselves, working toward our dreams, and such...and then there is real life. I think in the beginning of our quest they seem like different worlds but over time we can begin to merge the two. I am in the process of aligning the two and I'm noticing more and more when I get off track and stuck in the old 'just getting by' real world thoughts. The challenging part is figuring out how to weave the two worlds together...some days life events seem to suck every bit of energy without any real meaning and then there are times that we lead only from our soul and almost feel as if we're in a magical land. My big GUESS is that the thread that weaves through both worlds is our core values. That is where we can chose in every moment to create experiences that are aligned with what we hold near and dear. I am in the process of honing in on what my values are and then finding opportunities to experience life according to these values. I am not talking about the 10 commandment type of values/morals, I am talking about the things that make me, ME. The things that allow me to say..."I had the best time", OR "that was so fulfilling", OR "I want more of 'that'", OR even the opposite "I chose to say no to that, its not worth it to me". So with this thought that our core values are the thread that binds our two worlds, I can see things playing out as such....

Every day, and in every transition in your day, decide what values you intend to experience. So, if you are going to have a meeting with your boss, the intention might be to learn something and to feel confident. If you are spending a day finishing things on your to do list, you intention is to feel accomplished and focused. If you happen to have a 'wrench' in your day where you have to stay home with your kid and you are unable to make progress at work, set the intention to feel love and to relax. If you're able to think through what your "ideal" life experiences are you can hone in on what is important to you and then at every moment, whether it is something your looking forward to, or feels "imposed" on you, you can focus your attention on "what you want to get out of it" and then I sincerely you believe that you can only feel successful. In a way, if you set your intentions you are 'leaning into the experience' versus 'pushing against it' and to me, that is peaceful.

Phew, I don't even know if I've written this clearly, but it has been on my mind and it is something I intend to practice and witness what I experience (positive or not) as a result of this. I HAVE tried this a few times recently and really cannot say a bad thing about it. For example, on Sunday I went to a networking event and prior to attending, I set an intention to: learn something new, connect with people who have varied interests, and leave with one new networking opportunity....check, check and check for that event. Today I started a program with a friend and my intention is to: have fun, have an open mind toward what I learn, and to gain clarity in the gifts I have. By setting these intentions (and I know eventually I'll get a bit more specific with them as I practice more and more), it feels as if I've cast my line way out into the water with the expectation that I WILL experience these "values" AND it I will be able to feel the 'tug on the line' (my soul) when in fact I achieve these expectations. It just feels great...that's all I can say (albeit not very clearly I think...and I'm okay with that).

Gratitude X 10

1. Photographing children (and their parents)


2. Facilitating clients through change


3. Having Meaningful conversations with friends


4. Witnessing volunteerism and abundance in the same moment


5. Writing whats on my mind and what I want for myself


6. Taking care of myself


7. Connecting with my kids and witnessing their power


8. Sharing the same space with my husband and knowing I'm loved


9. Noticing all that is right in my life


10. Wanting more of "all of the above"

C is for Comfort

I just fixed myself a comfort food. I'm feeling a little tired, a little chilly, a little headachey, and my husband is watching "his" football (not my fav)....so I decided to treat myself.

Do you know what my go to comfort food is?...it is so incredibly complicated and sophisticated and such an effort....NOT...it is a bowl of pasta, with a little butter and Parmesan on it. That is it...and it does the trick. Its quick, cost effective, and accessible within 5 minutes. This was my meal of choice during my first year of graduate school (along with bowls of Cap'n Crunch). In 'today's dietary wisdom'...carb loading is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG....well, in that time of my life, it was my staple (throw in peanut M&Ms for dessert). AND GUESS WHAT....I lost weight and then some. I was at an all time low and probably looked awful. A family friend commented that I looked grey and sallow. Go Figure (pun intended)! I believe that the abundance of butterflies in my stomach (due to fear, loneliness and heart break)...made me feel full most of the time, so the actual amount of food not WHAT I ate was to blame.

I recently decided to do a memory walk through my life to access the times that I was at my lowest weight (and sadly linked to that was the thought that I was 'feeling good about myself'). Well, let me tell you, my two lowest times (as an adult I might add) were not circumstances that I would like to recreate. AND funny enough, looking back, I don't know that I DID feel good about myself...I felt good about the numbers (weight and clothing size). That was external to really how I felt. So...grad school was a great cornucopia of emotions...as I said before. Then the other time was after I had miscarried. My miscarriage isn't something that is a big disappointment in my life. I was 'very pragmatic' about it and knew that it was common and had no link to my ability to have a live birth...so I did grieve but it was quick. BUT after that, I made it my JOB to get fit, get to my best weight, be healthy etc. I didn't actually have a job to go to, so I strictly followed the Zone Diet, worked out, didn't drink alcohol, took my prenatal vitamins etc. So again, I was seeing results in my weight and my clothing size...but did I feel good about myself? Most likely I didn't because I was grieving and wanting to be pregnant. So...again, I look back and wonder do I REALLY want to see those numbers and clothing sizes again?

My thoughts are that I wouldn't reject them if the low numbers came...BUT if they came at a price....then no thank you. With this in mind, I have been making a conscientious effort to put healthy foods in my mouth, assessing my hunger and fullness when I eat, engaging in fitness routines that involve my most valued feelings (connection and fun), finding ways to fill my soul (reading, connecting, coaching)...and guess what! The weight is slowly and steadily falling. AND I am not even focusing on that part, I'm focusing on the other stuff and KNOW that with that, I will get to an 'ideal healthy set point' that probably won't be 'my smallest' BUT it WILL BE my happiest (because I'm focusing on HAPPY NOW)!

Showing up

Today my friend told me that she had decided to show up "as herself" to a networking event. I know what she really meant was that she wanted to dress how she usually does and not try to 'impress anyone'. But the alternate thought of showing up as someone else, made me chuckle and then it made me think. When DO we show up as ourselves and when do we NOT?

I believe I do present as an authentic and open person most of the time, but there are times when I do not show up as myself. The times that I am not myself are often when I assess the people around me and decide to compare myself to them. The "I'm not as...." thoughts get in my way. You know the ones: I'm not as funny as, I'm not as rich as, I'm not as smart as, I'm not as creative as, I'm not as confident as. When those gritty judgments enter the room with you then YOU DON'T show up as yourself. I had a client discuss how when she is thinking the thought, "I am too fat" as she is interacting with people, she realizes that she then is not authentic with them. She is focused on those negative thoughts instead of really listening and engaging in meaningful conversations with people she loves. What a powerful insight.

So what is one to do if she wants to show up as her authentic self? The first step is to NOTICE when you're doing it (try not to judge, just witness). Then, once you've noticed, quietly and gently talk to your "I'm not as..." and say thank you for trying to protect me in this situation BUT I am willing to give it a go without you this time. In that place of pushing them aside, witness then how you show up with people, witness then how rich your interactions are, witness then how much more you get out of life. The more you let these thoughts lead the way, the more you are not showing up as yourself...and then you feel a little "off" by the end of your interactions.

One final recommendation is to find a quiet time when you're relaxed and ready to witness your thoughts. Invite your "I'm not as..." in for a visit. Offer an uncomfortable chair near the door; tell them they can come in, but not stay for long. Then ask the questions: What are you trying to tell me? What are you trying to protect me from? What am I believing about myself that isn't true? What can I turnaround about this thought that feels better and MORE true? Ask and listen to the answers. Then, escort your "I'm not as..." out the door and remind them that you'll be fine without them. Over time, they'll show up less and less and you'll be more adept at sending them right back out from whence they came.

As I write this, I am am holding a 'figurative' mirror to my face!

A day of it

Today was a fantastically intense day in a good way. I had 2 coaching sessions, 1 acupuncture session, a therapy session, my husband home safe and sound, my kids good grades in hand, and amazing contacts with my tribe. I couldn't be more grateful...Peace out!

Green Lights and Parking Spaces

Today I decided to set an intention for each transition in my day. Before each thing I decided to imagine what I want as if I am sending out my 'wish' via thought and visualization....and guess what, it has been fabulous.

Each time I get to my next "gig" I have commented out loud about what is going well. An example of this...this morning I took my kids to the flu shot clinic (again) to get them an H1N1 booster shot (a requirement for kids under 10 if you so choose to vaccinate). The media had my mind filled with HUGE lines and disappointment, so I decided to allow extra time and to calmly accept whatever comes my way. Before the kids and I left I asked them to envision themselves being in the front of the line for their flu mist (and I did the same). Here is the series of events:

1. I took them to Starbucks for breakfast...parking spot right in front...thank you.
2. No line for us to get our food....thank you.
3. Efficient kids eating swiftly with no tension....thank you.
4. Smooth drive to clinic...thank you.
5. Parking spot close to entrance....thank you.
6. Early to the clinic (30 minutes before clinic began)...thank you.
7. THIRD IN LINE at the clinic...thank you.
8. Here is where my son did some envisioning because I had accidentally asked for the shot and they were going to give it to the kids and my son right now isn't a big fan of the shot...so right before the shot was given they said, "you can have the mist if you'd like"...THANK YOU.
9. So, even though that took us out of line to fill out another form, I was more than happy to do that....thank you.
10. Then I decided to take care of some blood work for myself (knowing that kids would be late to school). I was first in line...thank you.
11. They accepted my form from an outside doctor (he was not sure they'd take the form, and "prepared me" for the fact that it could be a hassle)...thank you.
12. My vein was nice and ready to be plucked...thank you.
13. The nurse was gentle...thank you.
14. Kids sent off to school with one more layer of "protection"...THANK YOU!

and...that is just one 2 hour snippet of an overall fantastic day....I think I'm onto something here...and it is fun to boot! AND...at this moment my snippet is: I had something to write about today in my blog that came to me with not an effort at all...THANK YOU!

Inspiration in odd places

Dr. Seuss and Hannah Montana have words to inspire me...go figure?

Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting...so get on your way! Dr. Seuss (this is on my business cards)

The lyrics from Hannah Montana's The Climb .

In both of these I have this feeling of excitement. A feeling that its mine to conquer. It isn't about the destination its about the journey. I witness this in my kids when they play...I think they have more fun with the process of creating versus the final outcome. I think that when we think about the final product our fear slips in to distract us because then we think about will someone judge me? what if there is a better 'there' to get too? what if I find I don't really like what I see at the other side? AND then sometimes we just cannot see what lies ahead and so we fear the climb altogether. Those fear-based thoughts (and way more where that comes from) keep us from strapping on our cramp-ons and putting one foot in front of the other and going on faith that we'll know where to place our foot each step of the way. And, if we make a mistep, we can get back up, dust ourselves off and start from where we left off. I'm definitely climbing, and I definitely have no clue where my next step needs to go, but I'll know it when I need to. Onward and upward! (OK that is getting a bit over-the-top...pun intended).

Dance card is almost full

Back in October I sent out a little note to some friends asking them to spread the word about my coaching. I decided to offer 10 free spots for a six week program. Luckily the Universe knew how much I could actually handle because for the last 6 weeks (more like 8) I have been able to successfully support 4 clients (with a few extra sessions thrown in with other people). That is the level I could handle at the time both psychologically, energetically and due to just regular "other life stuff". Just recently I've had a flurry of new requests for coaching on my "free program" so that I can start the next group. So, here is my "going, going, gone..." call. I have 3 more spots open and then the offer is done. I plan to line up my free clients now and serve them for 6 weeks even if it extends into 2010...but after January 1, I plan to consider the offer expired to new clients. So...without further ado...I post my notice to you and if you (or someone you know) would like to try my coaching out, please contact me. And...if you think a friend might be interested, just send them to my site here! BELOW IS MY BLURB:

It's a Celebration

Please help me celebrate my successful completion of the Martha Beck life coaching program. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE coaching and can't get enough of it. As a gift to myself (and to you) I've decided to offer 6 weeks of FREE coaching to the first 10 people (NOW down to 3) who respond to this letter. This offer includes one coaching session per week for 6 weeks along with unlimited email access during the 6 weeks. Coaching can be done either in person or over the phone.

• If you are someone who has an itch to change something about your life (or your whole life for that matter).
• If you have heard about the 'coaching thing' and would like to try it out
• If you feel stuck and want a nudge.

Then this offer is for you! A 6 week program in which I'll:
• listen intently
• help you connect with your inner voice
• use creative techniques to provide a different perspective about your life
• guide in making plans for change
• act as a sounding board
• teach you what I know so you can use the same knowledge and techniques on your own.
*************************************************************************************************
About me
If you asked me to describe myself in one sentence, I'd say I am a connector and motivator who empowers people to improve their lives using unique and powerful tools.

How did I arrive at this? I feel I have spent my whole life building up to this point. My personal and professional experiences have provided me the necessary training to be right here right now to help people to make positive change in their lives. I have often been known to say that "Change is my middle name" in that I have experienced a great deal of it in my life (who hasn't right?). Being a "Navy brat", every two years my life was packed up and moved to another state and twice to another country. As an adult I've continued with this pattern. Perhaps because of this life experience I was drawn to work in the field of change management consulting (after gaining my masters in Industrial and Organizational Psychology). The part I enjoyed most about that career was the connection with people and their struggles to find peace in an ever changing environment at both work and home. With that in mind I set out to gain more "tools for my toolbox" in the form of life coach certification. I have been personally trained and certified by Dr. Martha Beck, bestselling author of “Steering by Starlight” & “The Joy Diet” and columnist for Oprah’s “O” Magazine.

REMEMBER: I have three spots open on a first come first served basis. So "what are you waiting for?". Contact me at laura@lauraenglish.net

Gratitude X 10

1. Mommy happy hour on Friday
2. A family walk in the woods
3. An adult-only party
4. Breakfast out (my favorite)
5. Holiday cards ordered
6. Christmas shopping started
7. Thanksgiving plans (Vancouver, BC)
8. Peaceful feelings
9. Healthy choices
10. My children playing together (I'm a solo parent for the week)

What animal is it?

I recently listened to a coaching call where the facilitator asked the class what animal their old jobs/careers were and what animal their new career was (all of whom were coaches). I decided to do a quick looksie at my own thoughts on my career(s) and here is what I came to:

Conultant (pre kids) - a sheep who was let out of the field from time to time to graze (ie had different clients and didn't feel 100% penned in) but came back to the farm and was tended by someone else (ie not truly autonomous and not truly creative...fell under someone elses vision...perhaps that person was a wolf in sheeps clothes too!)

Mom - Lioness definitely fits. I feel really content with that role and kind of instinctual about it. Now that the cubs are no longer as needy, I feel more secure in letting them go out further on their own and I am willing to search "for food" further from the den as well.

Coach - Hummingbird. I mainly chose this because it is what I'm drawn to at the moment and it kind of fits. I feel as though I am buzzing along from topic to topic searching for food. I have found my favorite spots but enjoy the buzzing around. I feel also the steady calm about me...but if you look closely, I'm busy, busy, busy. I know that I can look further at what a hummingbird symbolizes to get at more of what this animal's qualities fit me...but my own wisdom is good too. Creativity seems to be a word that comes to my mind...this is what the coaching feels it is bringing out in me...I feel way less like a sheep and more creative...however, thoughts of being a sheep come to my head because it feels easier, safer, and spreads a lot of the responsibility to someone else (ie getting the business, taking care of the boring business stuff etc). So...could I be a hummingbird in sheeps clothing? OR now with time, life experience, and more knowledge, I will know how to recognize a wolf in sheeps clothing and gravitate toward more hummingbirds like me? That feels nice...that feels better and it feels possible.

This was such a fun and creative way to look at roles you play in life (even beyond just career) to see what you think you ARE and what you think you WANT TO BE...and then figure out how to make the transition. Also, the qualities of those animals are very telling about what you believe about yourself. Very cool, very fun...and probably way more meaningful and deeper than I can even know. So what animal would you be? Does that animal "fit you" or would you like to become something else? Give it a try...you might be surprised at what you find. My big surprise was my acknoweldgement that I felt that my leaders were wolves in sheep's clothing...that was interesting...it came to me in a flash. Again, I ask, how about you?

A different perspective

Today I spent the morning at an alternative high school participating in a Women of Wisdom conference. We women spent time with groups of girls talking about what it means to be a woman today, what challenges we face and how to overcome them. I spent the night before tossing and turning because to be honest, high school scares me. I imagined the girls glaring at me with their arms folded thinking...what does THIS woman know about anything? The other thoughts I had were: leave it to me to screw up some kid's life in a matter of a morning. Of course the wise part of me knew that I would be able to find access points to at least engage them in conversation.

Here are some thoughts I had:

• Boy that is some blue hair


• Ouch how did that post get through her nose?


• Could there be any more eyeliner in this room?


• Did I have this kind of apathetic look as a kid?


• Yowza my life was good compared to these kids


• Oh how I hope that these girls have a chance to make something of themselves


• Yikes, these girls are fighting over whether it's ok to have drugged-out moms raise their kids


• This girl has amazing insight at such a young age


• This girl actually might have a chance


• I wish I had some of this clarity when I was young


• I'm not that bad at facilitating


• I wish I had THOSE girls at that table in MY group


• That woman probably thinks I'm a Polly Anna


• How do teachers do this day in and day out


• YUM free coffee!

And then I left the event with this curious sense of having witnessed a little gem of insight with today's youth, but then having a sense of loss and hopelessness suspecting that only a small percentage might actually be able to make it out of the rubble of lives that they current operate in...then my final thought was THANK GOD FOR MY AWESOME LIFE...PAST AND PRESENT!

Spent

Today involved a lot of mental energy and so tonight, I am spent. So, I leave you with this...

May all beings, everywhere, be happy and peaceful and come to the end of suffering.

I read that in a book today in the waiting room. I liked it and I spread that hope to all.

Peace Out

Many Hats (and hats off)

My writing has been sporadic because I've been busy being available as a mother, a wife, a coach, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a peer and probably other hats that I'm not aware. The fact that I get to be all of these feels amazing. It feels about the best I can feel because in each of those roles I am very present and in each of those roles I know that I am valuable and worthwhile. And in each of those roles I give my 100%...so to not be able to write is A.OK with me because I've got many different fabulous and fancy hats to wear that keep me fulfilled and alive. All is well.

AND I want to give a shout out to my veteran family and friends. I heard someone getting a discount today for his service. I announced that I was a Navy 'brat' (I know Dad it should be Junior) and perhaps I deserved a little 'sumpthin'...but alas no, I don't count but I do value what it means. Interestingly (this is a side note), for some reason, I never really "got" the significance of what my dad did in his career. I realized he had a powerful role and the military was important in our country...but I really didn't get the idea of service and dedicating your life for your country and I feel a little naive and stupid about that. I chalk it up to a few things...one is that my parents did a great job of separating work and home so that I didn't feel as though I was living with the Great Santini. I also lived most of my time in a civilian setting (not on bases and not ensconced in all things military). I also think that the Cold War was much harder to grasp than our wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Additionally, my Dad didn't get to discuss his job with us and even if he did, I probably didn't get it (or got bored...sorry dad). I also didn't have a TV as a child so I didn't witness military news. So my first real eye opening, HOLY COW THIS IS REAL moment was when my middle brother went to Afghanistan for a year. That was real to me. That hit me in the gut. That felt like sacrifice. So to my dad and my oldest brother, I offer my wish of forgiveness that I didn't 'value' your service as much as I now see I could and should have...and to my brother Greg, thank you for being a solid witness to my raw and eye opening awakening...its obvious I wasn't ready to 'get it' back then and now I do and I truly appreciate all that you and everyone I know (and even those I don't) have done to keep us safe and free. My deepest thanks and sincere appreciation for what you've given.

Just happy

Today, I am just happy to be able to get a little entry in. I had actually a very good day with connecting with my peeps, getting 5 loads of laundry done, putting the house back together after a weekend of being 'off-duty' and knocking about 10 things off my to do list (this blogpost is my 11th thing). So...nothing profound to say today except...my week is starting on the right foot. Speaking of body parts...I was certain my shoulder would require a medical intervention after the pain I had this weekend, but by golly, I have almost full range of motion back and just slight pain. Lesson learned is...when you have pain, stop, drop and rest until said pain is gone. I'm back to my fighting status once again...so watch out!

Gratitude X 10

1. One healthy arm (other still hurts like crazy)


2. Kids who feel sorry for me (mwaaaaa)


3. 12 happy kids at an 8 year old's party


4. Husband who had fun playing mad scientist at said party


5. Talks with my family


6. My husband's cozy sweatshirt


7. Relaxing Sunday (mainly 'cause my shoulder is OUCHY)


8. Spots of sunshine on rainy days


9. Tea with friends


10. Legos

Making friends with pain

I have somehow "injured" my shoulder. I definitely can use it but at some angles, I get a shocking burst of pain. I attribute it to some push-ups, weight lifting and then perhaps the contortions I made with my body when I went through my tooth torture. So, my range of motion is interesting. Here are ways in which I'm seeing positives in this...

1. An excuse NOT to workout


2. Finding interesting ways to wash my hair and take off clothes


3. Teaching my daughter to clasp a bra so she will be prepared on her own time


4. Interesting insight into what it might be like to "get old"


5. Being creative on how to use one hand more often


6. Laughing at how awkward it is to use only half of an arm


7. Gaining sympathy from strangers (and a little from my family)


8. Hugs from my kids to make me feel better


9. Excuses for why I cannot lift the box on the floor


10. Hope that this is only temporary!

I'm just saying...there are ways in which you can get sucked into the 'woe is me' kind of approach to things and the other way is to just 'roll with it' and see where it takes you. Perhaps this 'limited range of motion' is a metaphor for how my brain and energy has been working and it is a sign for me to just 'go with the flow' versus trying to push hard on something that hasn't yet been stretched appropriately...ie my confidence! So there!

Thoughts in the chair

Today I had my tooth rebuilt. Here is what went on in my head during the procedure:

1. Here I go for my annual poke and prod in my mouth



2. I'm an old pro at this



3. Boy that needle is big



4. This doesn't really hurt at all



5. Is she doing this right?



6. My mouth doesn't seem to be numbing



7. B-now b-my b-mouth is numbbbing



8. I hate the sound of the drill



9. I hope the damage to my tooth isn't too bad



10. Maybe the Dr. will be surprised at how 'not bad' my tooth is
    
    
11. She did not just say "lets go digging for cavities'!



12. Not bad



13. Not bad



14. Holy SMOKES that hurts



15. Squeeze your hands that might feel better



16. Scrunch your face that might feel better



17. Having 2 babies has prepared me for this pain, I can handle this, I can handle this



18. OUUUUUUUCH



19. YIIIIKES



20. When is this going to be over



21. She did not just say possible root canal!



22. OUUUCH



23. There are kids starving in Africa, so I can handle this



24. There are people going through chemo, so I can handle this



25. Maybe yoga breaths will work



26. Please be done soon



27. She did not say she is going to use a SLOWER tool for the next part



28. Holy MOLY (ramp that one up to a non-family version)



29. I wonder if I'll have new wrinkles because I'm squeezing my eyes so tight



30. I know I'm going to live....but boy it feels 'touch and go'

So...the story is that the cavity my dentist was working on was so close to the nerve that it couldn't be numbed at that spot and there was nothing to do but 'go for it'. So...I was a real trooper to the outside world but inside...you get the picture! I hope to NEVER experience that again...thankyouverymuch.

Nothing and then everything

Lately I've had days filled with "nothing pressing" and so guess what...nothing got done..donut, zip, ziltch, nada. Then there are days like today where I actually had plenty on my plate and guess what, I got a lot done and then some...morning pages (3 pages writte long-hand), 3 business-related tasks (a goal of mine to do 3 small things a day), ran, weight lifted, showered, downloaded photos, volunteered in my daughter's class, shopped at Costco, boogied home and unloaded, drove to a meeting (which was actually cancelled), mailed a package, returned library books, got library books, bought some coffee and a book, read for 20 minutes, drove home, put Costco stuff (dry goods) away....and here I am writing my blog.

I thought I could quickly find a Murphy's Law for this...but I didn't quite find and exact correlation...but I did find a TON of Murphy Law-esque statements that made me laugh. My one problem with this picture is....I am frustrated that I cannot provide my own 'incentive' for being productive regardless of what is on my plate. Where is that 'work ethic' that just keeps me chugging along with just some good ole' intrinsic motivation? Where is it I ask you? I believe the elixir would be that I had some concrete goal to work toward versus a general knowing that I want to feel busy, useful, engaged, connected, smart, resourceful and many more where that came from. As much as those are useful bits of data to know what I want to feel, I don't have a clear 'endgame'...like build a car, or sell widgets. I think I could do a little 'brainstorm' on this to get a bit more clear on targets to meet...then perhaps I'll be able to 'put one foot in front of the other'. Perhaps that will be a goal for next week...because tomorrow is close to the speed of today and I expect to get a lot of good stuff done...but not THAT. Until then, I have 'this song' running in my head...and it won't get out!

Have you noticed?

Have you noticed that my blogposts are bit on the uninspired side. That is your first clue of how I'm feeling right now. I will now perform my 'circus act' and coach myself out of this funk (based on the Self Coaching 101 model by Brooke Castillo):

Circumstance: No "tangible" progress on goals

Thought: I am uninspired right now

Feeling: Low energy, scattered, isolated

Action: Check email too much, randomly search the web, check facebook, put off errands and stay at home more often than not

Result: No clear progress toward goals such as website, networking, designing programs, outreach to obtain paying clients

If you look at the above you can see that the thoughts, actions and results are essentially the same in concept and so, if I remain in the thinking state of "uninspired" I could get into a bit of a spin cycle and be in this same spot a month from now. So...now I go back to this model and I try to access a 'better feeling thought'.

Circumstance: (always remains the same in this model)

Thought (better feeling): I am engaging in activities that inspire me.

Feeling: motivated, resourceful, active

Action: Reading books recommended to me, reading blogs that inspire me, brainstorming with people who "get me"

Result: I will be more "inspired" to take actions that move me forward in my business such as writing articles, talking to people who can lead me to networking opportunities, writing content for my website.

When I came up with this better feeling thought...I actually believed it and this is why...I could find times in this week that I actually have been inspired:

1. Two meetings with my "tribe" discussing the topic of coaching, intuition and changes in society


2. Read around 5 blogs that have enlightened me


3. Received my brand new business cards and am happy to have them in my hands


4. Coached 3 people already this week


5. Listened to a radio recording of an interview of someone who inspires me


6. Read another chapter in my book Think and Grow Rich


7. Continued to write my blog


8. Written "daily pages" for a week


9. Generated a worksheet for end of year review and planning for 2010 for my colleagues and clients


10. Generated a 'bucket list' of things I would like to focus on in the near future


11. Participated in my daily walks with my friend (good for 'downloading' about things)

So, in the amount of time I wrote this blog, I've not only increased my energy toward making progress on my goals, I've given myself evidence to disprove my first thought that I am not inspired. This tool is fabulous to move your thoughts 'down stream' a bit so that from a better feeling thought you actually might be able to see things you hadn't noticed about yourself before and be able to make decisions and action from a place of peace.

In my next act...I'll perform "the Work" on myself....stay tuned!

Rebuild

My teeth are AWESOME (not!). Every six months I get to deal with exciting new developments with my teeth. This time is what I knew would happen soon...my silver fillings are starting to "expire" (ie fall out) and have to be replaced. How fun! I have a big gaping hole in my lower molar that I am told is being exposed to the great environs of my mouth and are possibly "decaying my tooth like wildfire" (dentist's words). Friday is the 'rebuild' of my tooth (feeling a little bit like the 'bionic mouth'). Until then, I collect random bits of food in my gaping tooth and have visions of all kinds of nonsense happening in my exposed tooth. One day...one day...I'll get a good report from the Dr.