Horizontal

Today I am pooped. We had an late evening out at our friend's house. Then my daughter and I babysat for our neighbors at 7:30am. So after our 'job' she and I have been hold up in our house, cozy, and nappy all day long. Some days if I do this, I beat myself up...today I am cool as a cucumber about it. My husband gets restless and is unable to spend a full day doing nothing. So, he has taken my son to breakfast, gone for a run and is now out running errands. Knowing this about him does add to my feelings of guilt about doing "nothing" but I'm trying to get over that part. My son is probably more like his dad (at least today) because he is out and about at a friend's house.

My worry is always that if I take one day off, it might spill into many...I lack the trust in myself. I think if I 'declare' the day off, perhaps it is a finite experience....I'm hoping that is the case.

Now...back to my horizontal position.

Beaming

Dear Daughter

My chest beamed with pride at your school performance last night.

You obviously knew the words.

You obviously knew the moves.

You performed with gusto and confidence.

You were confident in your speaking part.

You make me proud.

People complimented me on your performance...how cool is that?

You have confidence and pride.

Today you spoke in front of your class, and

I am proud of your poise, your diction, and your strength of voice

You make me proud.

I want to harness this confidence, to hone it, to shape it, to share it and to keep it going.

I fear there will be something or someone who will hurt you (with words);

To make you quiet, less confident, more shy and lose the self worth you have within you

Please, please, please let me be wrong.

Weird Science

I have to write a monthly article for our school newspaper (as I am the prez)....so here is my article for this month (which is science month).

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I participated in my first—and last—science fair when I was in sixth grade. My dad, the Navy Captain, was at sea, and my mom had to manage three kids on her own. As the librarian, she did not feel exactly equipped to be my science fair coach. However, since my two older brothers were super keen on math and science (my eldest brother in particular is a serious brainiac: he was a nuclear submariner in the Navy and holds two patents to his name), she called on them to help me.

My brothers were—and are—good brothers. They definitely “helped.” They began by choosing the topic I would explore: electricity. Then they did most of the research for me. After that, they built a device to measure electrical conductivity. I’m sure I was involved. I’m sure of it! I just can’t remember doing…anything, really, except handing over “operations” to them. I do remember my brothers having to teach me what my science project was about.

I won First Place at the school fair. I was also sent to the state science fair, where I won an Honorable Mention and a $50 savings bond. Boy, that was so cool to get recognized…

Deep down inside, I felt like a farce. I knew that what I was doing—what I let my brothers do—wasn’t entirely right. To this day, the entire experience makes me uncomfortable.

The good news is, I learned lessons I carry with me to this day, even though I didn’t realize some of those lessons until I became a parent myself. For starters, we parents do the best we can with the resources we have. I know, in my heart, that all of us back then—me, my mom and even my brothers--did the best we could with the resources we had at the time. My mother didn’t have the bandwidth to mentor me on a science fair project, and my brothers were probably so happy to have a legitimate reason for using their soldering iron and cathode ray tubes, they didn’t think too hard about what a sixth grader can actually do. Besides, how many 10th and 12th grade boys have the skills to know what a sixth grader is actually capable of? We did the best we could, with what we had, during that time.

Second, science fair projects should really be done by the student in whatever capacity and interest they have. Really. Adults—and older siblings—should only provide guidance. As a parent—or older brother—it is difficult to not help our kids make their projects look “professional,” or find a more “interesting/complicated” project. But at the end of the day, it’s not your lesson. It’s your child’s, and you, by allowing them to run their own project, build their confidence and feed their curiosity. As a parent, I am constantly challenged to find the right balance of guiding, but not actually doing, of encouraging, but not exactly berating, if my child’s project is a little sloppy, or not exactly “right.” I am continually searching for that “sweet spot” between distinguishing what a 1st and 3rd grader are capable of and what I know would rock everyone’s socks off.

Support is awesome, but I encourage you to let your child be the lead.

Finally? Winning—or even being recognized--when you know that you didn’t do the project, doesn’t feel right….and it sticks with you.

Un-rutting

So yesterday I coached a client who was having a sense of overwhelm. I poked and prodded to see if there was a spot that could offer some relief either in her thinking or in her 'doing'. So we got to a point where she said if I could just have this and this off of my list then that would really free me up. So, then I got a little 'stroppy' with her (in a kind way) and asked Why are you not getting it done?...because yadda, yadda, yadda....so why not yadda, yadda, yadda....so through enough whys and enough calling her BS (in a kind way) we were able to come up with some small babysteps for her to get her stuff done in a matter of a day. Just the thought that within a day she would be done with the thing that had been on her mind for months provided her so much relief. She was so giddy with the idea that it seemed that her overwhelm had vanished. By the end of the day, I got an email from her that she had completed the one overwhelming task and by tomorrow will be all done. Her other overwhelming task is "in process" and will be completed in under a week (by someone else). So, the moral of the story....if you've got some "stinkin' thinkin'" about your life and about goals you have, it could be a matter of a kind but firm person to get you out of your rut and into smooth sailing. I love this kind of stuff....if you need me, I'll be there for you! THIS is what I love about my coaching...Love it, love it, love it!

Choices

This past week I've had a flurry of activity that seem to have all conspired to be on the same days at the same time. This is when it gets tricky and this is when I think the universe is testing me to put rubber to the road on my passions and interests. One thing I've decided to 100% prioritize is my coaching class and also anything related to coaching. I've had to choose between social engagements and coaching (and coaching won), and of course if PTA and coaching collide...coaching DEFINITELY wins. This all feels good and right.

I have this energy about me that says, these little tests are telling me that I am a busy, dedicated woman who has options, and who is making 'stuff' happen. I like that feeling and will accept more...but maybe next time spread it out through the week so I have more time. Today I have meeting, meeting, conference call, conference call and then co-hosting a party this evening....oh yeah and I guess I should remember that I have kids to feed, clothe, school etc....hmmmm do I prioritize them OR a nap?

Thought Control

Setting: Sunday dinner

Dad: Monkey eat your meat

Mom: If you don't eat your meat, how can you have any pudding, how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

Princess: Really, we're having pudding?

Mom: No!

Cue Mom doing her best rendition of the Pink Floyd song...We don't need no education....

Dad pops out of his chair to find the song. (he sings off and on too substituting the word edu-ma-cation...for fun)

Kids begin to sing in their best British accents. Monkey does awesome air guitar. Princess grabs a broom for a mic and also adds choreography to the song.

Mom: You might not want to say these words to your teacher. She might not find it funny.

Mom: This is a lesson in grammar...the correct way to say it is We don't need ANY education. AND we don't say Leave THEM kids alone, we say leave THOSE kids alone.

Princess: Of course mom!

Dad: Did you know that there are 5 versions of this song on this album?

Mom: No, I did not know that. You learn something new every day.

Princess: I like the one about education best.

AAAAAND Scene.

That is just a little "slice of life" of a happy (yet somewhat odd) little family.

Gratitude X 10

1. Fun mini vacation to Phoenix


2. Friends in Phoenix (I always get a big kick out of reconnecting with people)


3. Warm sun in Phoenix


4. Warm (ish) sun in Seattle


5. Inspirational evening with friends


6. Basketball parties (read...basketball is over!)


7. Blogs to read


8. Indian food on a date (my husband had his elusive Phall chicken which he hasn't been able to find in the US since we moved back in 1998...he was happy)


9. Music


10. Spontaneous "I Love Yous" from my kids.

Groovy

It has come to my attention many times this week about the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. I don't know when this happened but it is interesting that there is more chatter about this. According to http://www.adishakti.org/age_of_aquarius.htm

"This simply means that we are leaving one age (Pisces), and entering into a new one (Aquarius). This happens every two thousand years - the last one coinciding with the arrival of Christ."

I don't know what I believe or don't believe but the descriptions of this age sound quite intriguing especially in light of our world today. It in fact sounds more hopeful and 'rich' than it feels with the current negativity. Of course 2 thousand years of Aquarius is a long time so where in this change process do I fit...seems as though the beginning.

Here are some interesting tidbits from the site:

• For a start, if you haven't already undergone any changes, you might be feeling the urge to change now, or you may be witnessing changes around you. Either way, you will certainly be aware that life on planet Earth seems to be going off the rails in one way or another.
  This is characteristic of the changing of the Ages as people struggle to adapt to the new energies.


• People are already beginning to look within for the answers they seek, instead of outwards to money, possessions and other people. The more enlightened members of society will welcome the New Dawn with its emphasis on humanity, kindness, truth, spirituality and enlightenment."

Anyhoo....I enjoy reading different perspectives on things with an open mind and open heart. I just had a quick peek into this and found it interesting. Reading Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie, Martha Beck and other people's perspective on how to end suffering....it feels as though the more people look within to find some answers the more the Age of Aquarius seems coincidentally (or not) on cue. Fascinating is all I have to say.

Vacation Mode

Why is it hard to transition back to regular life after a vaca? It almost feels like I go into a mild depression for a few days. House is messy, to-do list is forgotten, deadlines are barely met. I'm not beating myself up but I am fascinated by this and curious when the energy will return. Just thinking out loud.

Phun in Phoenix

Here is my daughter's list (with my embellishments) of her favorite things we did in Phoenix.

1. Ate rattlesnake, buffalo and cactus fries at the Cowboy Club


2. Rode a horse named Buck


3. Saw Mule deer on our Pink Jeep ride in the desert mountains


4. Saw tons of cacti


5. Swam in a pool/hot tub daily


6. Met and ate dinner at our friends house whose Dad is an Emmy-winning news anchor (we saw him do the news too)


7. Picked oranges, lemons and limes off the trees at a lovely home where Dad's "first boss ever" lives


8. Went to an Alien museum (ala area 51)


9. Saw President Obama's airplane at the Phoenix airport


10. Had an AWESOME mini-vaca with family.

home again

Phab time in Phoenix. Will report more later. Kids are awesome travellers. Husband and I do the 'travel dance' well and rarely get tense. Today was our first ever 'cutting it close' airport experience. We missed our exit and were already 'under the wire'. We couldn't find a gas station close to rental returns. We got in the WRONG (slow) line in security. My husband's bag got searched for the Prickly Pear jelly we were given as a gift. My son had to go pee so badly during our long security wait. We 'high tailed it' to our gate (in time) to find that they had changed the gate from A29 to B10...needless to say, those gates ARE NOT CLOSE TOGETHER (kids were troopers). We made it in time and the flight was non eventful except my daughter got one of those awful sinus pains as we were landing. This is not her first and it is so frustrating as a mother to look at your seriously pained child and tell her that I understood her pain but could do nothing about it. She is getting better about dealing but it truly is a frustrating experience.

A side story: At the front of the plane a dad and daughter were FIGHTING with the bag handler crew about how their luggage NEEDED to fit in the overhead and that he would not give the luggage up (they've recently changed the size requirements). He was yelling and screaming and was then pulled out of line. Then the young daughter started screaming....security was summoned. We were able to get on the plane but my kids were wide-eyed and my husband made a wise statement...."That is an example of a BAD role model for a kid". The man and daughter made it on the plane in the end (I was a tiny nervous that the 'plane rage' would continue during flight...but it did not). When we had landed he said to his daughter...now we have to deal with the US Air MORONS again...what father thinks that is appropriate language and behavior to model to his daughter....UGGGGHHH!

Anyway...off to bed.

And we're off

We are 'leaving on a jet plane' (John Denver) tomorrow at 5am to Phoenix, AZ. We will experience warm weather, fun family time, reconnecting with friends from our past and fun adventures in horse back riding and 4 wheeling in the desert. I am looking forward to this time away...as a result of this trip, communication will be little if any via my blog....so...until then... Yippe-ky-a!

S-U-C-C-E-S-S

I just finished my last of 6 coaching sessions with MY coach from my coaching program. I looked forward to these calls and will certainly miss them, but boy do I feel like I've opened up my mind and heart a little to see where I have some limiting beliefs and where I have some 'work' to do to move forward with my life. It is all GOOD. Her parting homework for me was to blog about what success means to me. I decided to do this task right here right now without 'thinking' about it to see what I come up with. I don't expect it to be complete, I don't expect it to be right, I don't expect to know what the 'bleep' I mean...but I sit before you now and will type for 5 minutes what comes to my mind:

Success means to me:

I am true to myself. I am true to my family. I work hard but enjoy my work. I am busy. I wake up with energy and a joie de vivre. I am active. I am accessible to friends and family. I connect with people on a regular basis. I am providing support to people to 'end needless suffering' (Martha Beck's mission). I am constantly reading and learning new things. I am flexible in my approach and my interests. I seek wise people but use my own judgement in the final decisions. I believe in myself. I earn money that provides me the opportunity to do what I please when I please and which frees me up to give back to the community in ways I see fit. I believe in something bigger than myself. I am 'there' for my children. I enjoy every moment I have with the people I love. I enjoy and/or appreciate every moment I have with myself (even the ones that are hard and uncomfortable). I look for what I can learn in each moment. I approach my work and learning with an open mind and with the energy of someone who is at play. I admit my mistakes. I forgive myself and others.

5 minutes are up. I am NOT going to edit for grammar, spelling or change ONE word. In fact I am not going to read this for another day or so so that I am not compelled to change anything. I must admit I feel very vulnerable right now and feel like NOT posting...but what is the fun in that. Ok....before I get crazy and change something...I am going to publish. Maybe you could try something like this yourself...you might find something interesting about yourself....I'm CERTAIN I will. Cheers! Chief

The Source

This morning I witnessed one of the sources of evil of my 'little nemesis' up the street. His uncle who is about 19 now brings him to the bus every morning. This morning the kids played the game 'punch buggy no turn back'. It is where they see a VW Bug and tell their friends to guess what color, old or new and if it is a convertible or not. Sweet, innocent, slightly annoying game (no physical contact though). The uncle looked confused...what is that about? He said the real game is SLUG BUG. I said, hey you've gotten older, the game has changed. He said (to the children ages 7-11) the REAL game is that you punch your friend when you see a Bug. He proceeded to then say, if you don't like the person you punch them in the stomach and if you REALLY don't like the person you punch them in the face. I said. HEY there are 7 year olds here and I'd like to preserve some of their innocence...to which he whispered to the kids...you can do it when you're older. AAAAAARRRRRGH.

This is just ONE slice of the complexity of the 'end of innocence' for my neighbor kid who is 7 and then for my kid by default. I do know that this uncle kid had some learning issues in school...As much as I want to be compassionate about that issue, I also don't want my kid to have to be exposed to this. I am on a no play date policy with my son at the moment and so far I haven't had to tell any of the 'interested parties' because it hasn't come up. If it does, I'm gaining more and more confidence (and evidence) to say NO WAY! grumble.

V is for Value

I am the PTA president. In my son's eyes I am all powerful at the school. In my eyes I am GULLIBLE (did you know that word isn't in the dictionary?). He thinks that I get special treatment and privileges. He often says, oh you'll get this or that because you're the president. I usually let him think that. The reason I don't let him in on the secret that being the PTA president isn't all that it is cracked up to be is a) I think it is AWESOME that he thinks I'm doing something cool (for now) and b) I want him to see that 'serving others' is something to be proud of. So now I talk about the b) one in more depth....

In the past months I've been working on my demons regarding money (mainly my relationship with my actual value and projecting and demanding that value of others who buy my services). Part of this complicated puzzle is my relationship with this one big variable in my life and that is the VERY ACTIVE role I play on the PTA. I have always struggled with my own interpretation with my involvement. I've never allowed myself to 'value' my commitment to the children at our school. I've shrugged it off as a 'necessary evil', or 'what I'm supposed to do', or 'what else would I do with my time'. I've never out and out said to myself, you are doing a damn good thing here and it is a gift you are giving the school and its community that is valuable and honorable, and should be seen as such. I think this little change in perspective would be one more 'layer' of the 'onion' that is my belief system around money that can really open up my options and my perspective. In my head I know that what I do is valuable and sometimes above and beyond the call of duty. I also know that there are other things I could be doing with my time. I know that volunteerism is something to give with your heart and have no expectations of getting anything back in return (but I do believe that things come beyond what you've given if you give from the heart). My head says yes...my heart is slow to believe it. BUT...I think the first step is acknowledging that you have a problem (right?). Now I need a 12 step program for valuing myself. 'Nough said!

Dear God

Here is a little prayer I sent out this morning....

Dear God, please protect my "cute as all get out" son today. He is dressed in Wall-E jammies that are too small for him and has cowboy boots on his feet (today is Pajama Day in his class). Please allow the other school children to look upon him with that 'awww how cute' feeling versus the 'you look so goofy I think I'll beat you up' feeling. I looked at him with the 'aww how cute' because HE IS, but in the big bad world of Elementary school where there are 6th graders, I have a tiny fear that others may poke fun. So, please protect my dear son from humiliation, teasing and other general mal-intent today.

On a very similar topic. I received an email from my son's teacher yesterday announcing that my son was caught spitting on another child. Boy did my heart sink at that one. I know, I know, there are worse things going on in the world and with children his age, but my Monkey is such a sweet little boy (and I know I'm biased) so to hear that he was doing something 'untoward' breaks my heart. So, the teacher asked that we have a talk with him. My husband and I played it cool. We asked him to tell what happened. I KNEW that tears would come without either of us saying a word...and they did. He knew it was not right and he felt bad. He claims that a boy was punching another boy and he wanted to protect his friend so he spit on the offender. Part of me wants to give my son a huge hug for trying to stick up for his friend and the other part (the wise parent part) has to help him see the side that was inappropriate. So we asked our son to replay the event how it should have happened. He came up with "If this happens again, I will tell Shelby to stop punching Jacob. If he does not stop punching him, I'll get a teacher to help me". That was a better 'sounding' solution but then I am left with the thoughts that my son will be seen as a tattle tail and be treated poorly.....what is a mother to do? I am hoping that we don't have many of these moments, but we'll handle what we get in the best way we can...that is all I can ask of myself...right?

Musical memories

Today I was transported to another time in my life by the song Land Down Under by Men at Work. It was my first 'mature' record I received from my brother. I somehow think he actually bought it for himself.

Now I am going to do a little memory lane work just for fun regarding song memories from my past....here goes...

1. Convoy. My brothers could recite all of the words


2. Neil Diamond and John Denver...they'll always remind me of my parents and of 3352 Isherwood Way, Fremont, CA 94536 (I know my address still by heart and we left there in 1978). John Denver resurfaced in college as the penultimate crowd 'singing' moments at parties that took place in our house/dorm rooms.


3. Blinded by the light...I'm still not sure what the words are...I sang "repped up like a douche in the middle of the night"...what the?


4. Hearing and singing Barry Manilow's "Looks Like We Made It" as we made it to our final destination from CA to RI in our VW poptop van. That song played as we crossed over the Providence Bridge in 1977.


5. Sesame Street record playing on my rickety record player in my room on Town Creek Drive (in Maryland) where I could recite Big Bird's song about the alphabet. He sang abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz as a word...try it!


6. Singing all of the words to my Annie record and believing I sounded just like Andrea McArdle


7. Listening to the White Album and being scared out of my mind. My dad had a reel to reel and he played that song backward that said "Paul is really dead"


8. Being a passive participant in my older brother's passion for all things classic rock (at least its considered classic now)...Beattles, Led Zeppelin, The Who, Supertramp to name a few


9. Learning the poem on the back of the Moody Blues album cover. That is what a teenager does when there is no TV and her brothers are 4 and 5 years older. Breath deep the gathering gloom. Watch lights fade from every room. I think I still know most of the words.


10. Slow dancing to Open Arms with my first boyfriend Andy Redmond in my basement at my 14th birthday party. We played that one 45 over and over and over...yowza.


11. Listening to the ONE tape my parents had in their car tape player the summer between my two years in Iceland (circa 1985)...Best of Bread. If a picture paints a thousand words then why can't I paint you. My husband finds me quite odd when I can sing a Bread song if it HAPPENS to be on the radio...it solidifies his thoughts that I am truly a SQUARE individual.


12. My first concert was Spandau Ballet in Naples, Italy (or was it Rome?). Again, my husband thinks I'm square because his first concert was something like KISS...it is amazing we ended up together.


13. James Taylor concert with my brother and his then girlfriend (now wife) in Newport, RI. That weekend goes down in the books as one of the more fun and memorable weekends of my Freshman year...just plain old fun.


14. Grateful Dead songs played in "the boys" dorm rooms at Mary Washington College. My friend Amis and I were (or at least we believed we were) "one of the guys".


15. Seeing The Who at RFK stadium with my friend Ted (one of, if not THE last concerts they did).


16. Seeing Elton John in London with my husband where Elton was supposed to be co-performing with Billy Joel...BJ didn't show so Elton graciously did both his and BJ's sets...truly an amazing entertainer.


17. The James Brown's song that includes the words 'take it to the bridge..ha' . My husband and I have decided that that is our 'theme song'. (not because of its title "Sex Machine" though...just the groove)
18. Becoming an Ed Head by following the local band Eddie from Ohio in Arlington, VA. Becoming even more of a follower when my friend Dan was murdered because he was the one who introduced me to the band. Fast forward to a year ago when I was out until 2am hanging with the band members here in Seattle and we found that we had much in common both with my friend Dan's murder and my husband went to college with the lead female singer. My groupie status is no longer as strong, but I do hold a place in my heart for that band.


19. Seeing Carbon Leaf in Raleigh in a small bar with my friend Jules and being utterly convinced that the lead singer was singing directly to me...I think he was cute...but somehow the vision gets distorted when boys are band members...something about stage presence makes them way cuter than they are...take Kate Hudson and her now ex...notsocute. Fast forward to last Christmas when my siblings, their wives, my husband and I saw them at the Ramshead in Annapolis, MD...a good show.


20. Finally...this past year my brain cells have been bombarded with the same Hannah Montanna and other Disney "youth" songs (Jonas brothers, High School Musical etc). Will this music be what I remember when the Alzheimers kicks in? Oh Good God I HOPE NOT!

Thanks for the memories...hope I didn't bore you....who cares really cause it was fun for me. You should try it sometime!

Candy Spell

I was a naughty, naughty girl this weekend. I found a bag of candy from Halloween and I ate a ton of it this weekend. I don't even know if I enjoyed it or not. I just ate it whenever I saw it, or thought about it....what is that all about? It feels like I am sabotaging any success I've made toward a healthier body. It feels like I have no self control. It feels like I cannot trust myself near sweets. I don't like these feelings.

I am willing to forgive myself for this weekend, but I also want to examine the who, what, where and why of it...like Nancy Drew (I watched that this weekend with my daughter). What is going on? Why can't I trust myself? How can I build a wall of trust for myself? Why don't I want to be healthy at this moment? This will be my 'self analysis' for the week. I am going to try to look a little deeper than normal and see if I can find a clue. In the meantime, there is no more candy (for now). I do have to acknowledge that it is the 'week' of valentines and perhaps this is where I can set a contract with myself about trust, moderation and thoughtful eating. Just talking about this makes me feel empowered....for now!

Gratitude X 10

1. Structure (in the form of lists this week)


2. Comfort Cafe and Life Spa


3. Night out downtown with kids


4. Exercise


5. Clean house


6. Kids playing like kids


7. Scale moving down


8. Income


9. Being coached


10. My blog

Stricken from our lexicon

I look forward to the day when I don't have to hear the phrase "In today's economy...."....UNLESS that phrase is linked to a statement like..."In today's economy we all have access to extreme abundance and the world is full of peace, happiness and sunshine and gazillions of dollars for EVERYONE"...I'm guessing that pigs would be flying by then too....but I hold a vision of the other side of the current situation.

Biz

Today my oldest niece turns 17. I CANNOT believe that it has been 17 years since I held that little baby in Memphis, TN who had a Mohawk hairdo because of medical issues from her birth (she had to have needles in her head and her hair was too long so they shaved it). This birthday for me signals many things. 1) time is passing too quickly 2) my niece is nearly done with HS and thus about to become an adult 3) I remember distinctly being 17 and what a mix of emotions I felt about growing up (and not growing up) ....I could go on about what this birthday means but it just is big....but let me move onto the beautiful human being that is celebrating this birthday...that is the more important thing.

Biz is the first of 6 grand kids in my family. She has blazed the trail for the younger generation on so many levels and sometimes that comes with its advantages and many times comes with its issues. She is an inspiration to me on her resiliency, her confidence and her ability to just know what she wants to do and the confidence to just do it. I know that she might feel that she doesn't always know "the WHAT (but do any of us ever) but in the big scheme of things, she seems to figure it out pretty quickly or at least to articulate what she doesn't want which steers her closer to the WHAT of what she wants (I know I'm not making sense...but). She and her whole family had to endure an unwanted absence of her father last year and they all did a fabulous job keeping it together. She most likely did her fair share of 'parenting' of her younger brother and keeping the house together in that time. I'll never truly know how that felt to be her...but from the outside, she did it with grace and remained pretty 'solid' through it all. I am so excited to see what the future holds for her and I'm excited for all the proud moments I'll share with my family when we hear of her accomplishments moving forward. Her can do spirit, resiliency and her kindness make me so proud that I know her and hope that she remains a big part of my life moving forward. I love you Biz!

Too soon

We have a neighbor kid up the street who is my son's age and defaults to us for play dates. The child is in an interesting home situation where he is being raised by his grandparents and has a 19 year old uncle living there too. SO...this child is a thorn in my side. There are many things I could say...but my main gripe right now is...he is teaching my son things HE DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW at this age. We now know the F word because of him, we now know what the middle finger means because of him AND we now know what gays are because of him. I am not an ostrich with my head in the sand...I know that this knowledge would enter into our repertoire but not at this accelerated pace and NOT from a peer his same age. I am torn between banning him from playing with this boy (whom treats my son poorly anyway), to talking to the boy, to talking to the grandmother. All of which are uncomfortable for me.

I actually pride myself in not being too much of a helicopter parent but when you have to expose your precious 'bird' to a toxic vulture on a regular basis knowing that there is a risk of some sort of untoward stuff going on....what is a mother bird to do? I know this is not my worst or last parenting issue...but it saddens me that my son is more street smart than he needs to be at this age....boo hoo!

I'm a mess

Funny...my house is picked up and mostly clean (which isn't always normal for me) but my body is a mess. Well actually, I've been eating healthier (except for Superbowl Sunday), taking vitamins, drinking more water, exercising more consistently BUT....I have a scratch on my forehead, I have big red pimples on my chin, I have a huge honkin' boil type something on my neck and two big pimples behind my ear. I know you really wanted to read about this...I'm sure all of your stomachs have turned now....but golly gee...this is painful, annoying, humbling, distracting and just plain ole bothersome. I am wondering, is it the exercise (sweating)? is it the healthy eating (my body getting rid of all the waste I've put in through random points in my body)? is it hormones (am I starting "the change")? is it stress (all this ugly chatter on the news)?....perhaps it is all of the above. Well I am saying it right here, right now...STOP THE MADNESS. OK, now that that is out of my system I'll get on with my day!

Note to self

Waking up 15 minutes earlier than the kids is the trick. Beds made, house picked up, coffee made, kids dressed, kids fed, kids on bus...all before 8:30am. Signs of a good day ahead!

As our friend Ben (as in Franklin) once said:

Early to bed early, early to rise makes a man (wo-man too) healthy, wealthy and wise.

I'm working on the early to bed now....then I expect wealth and wisdom or I want my money back! Do you think this quote landed old Ben on the $100 bill? I still have mine in full view above my computer!

STRUCTURE

I am involved with a new membership website that is called the Comfort Cafe and Life Spa. It is very robust interactive site that includes mini seminars, topics of the week, topics of the month resources etc. There is a lot of content and a lot of interactivity. I will be on the site forums as a 'roving comforter' reading entries and giving gentle support where needed. I can see this as a fun 'extra' to my coaching AND I get so much rich content. At the first of every month Jennifer Louden gives a 1 hour teleconference discussing the theme for the month and her reflections and advice. The theme for this month was self-trust. Very interesting thoughts about how we can trust ourselves either to honor our own commitments or to recognize when we've veered from our path and either reconnect or seek help. She recommends that there are 4 criteria with which we can develop self trust.

1. Sincerity - what can I honestly and sincerely achieve. So if you say, I'll run a marathon this year and you know you either don't have the time to dedicate or the desire to do it...then you are not setting a sincere goal.


2. Reliability - willingness to fulfill the goal (the stick to-itness). If you find that the challenge is a bit to stretching to go it alone, seek help or support of a friend. For example, to quit smoking is something the more than likely requires outside support


3. Competence - the time, energy and resources with which to accomplish the tasks.


4. Care - love and self kindness. Treat yourself as you'd treat a friend.

She also noted that if you experience some of the following, you are sending warning signs that you are not trusting yourself: fear, worry, overwhelm, rushing, hyper productivity, rigidity (there is only one way to accomplish this), beating yourself up, or not time for rest. If you notice this about yourself...stop, reflect and see what about your situation are you not 'trusting yourself' and see about redirecting, changing your expectation or seeking help.

Jennifer covered an immense amount of information (my mom said maybe too much).

Another monthly objective is to set an intention (in one word). For example, my intention for the year is "allow" but from a month to month area, you can find something that will help guide you forward. I have found that January was an amorphous blob so my 'opposite of that' that I CRAVE is "structure"...so that is my intention for the month. I, in fact, have spent some time detailing my month, knowing what I have to do daily, weekly and monthly and made a few 'lists' that I can refer to provide the structure I need. On top of that, I've set a mini achievable goal of 'moving' everyday for at least 10 minutes. I know you think that 10 minutes might be a little too lenient, but for me right now I want consistency and I believe that I will NOT talk myself out of 10 minutes. I MIGHT talk myself out of 30, so I've reduced the number to ensure that it will be done. I also will reward myself daily for keeping to my movement goal...Internet time is my reward (writing this blog doesn't count).

So, I've just provided a lot of 'chatter' about lots of the things that are interesting to me at the moment. I am OFF to do my movement with my friend up the street (30 minute walk)...Mondays are a good day for us to walk/run together...after that our weeks are a bit scattered and not reliable. I'll be checking write blog and movement off my daily list....check, check...DONE!

Gratitude X10

1. Gratitude before the day is done
2. Superbowl party at our house
3. Clean house
4. Organized (ish) office
5. Awesome coincidences
6. Date night with husband
7. Husband who has more conviction of my success than I do
8. Facebook connections
9. Role as 'roving comforter' on a newly launched website
10. My intention for the month = STRUCTURE