Just one of those days

I had one of those crazy, insane, busy, rushy, tiring days. I believe it was 'meant to be' because I asked for it. All week long people asked how I was doing with my husband being gone. I was like...."its all good, I'm go with the flow, no biggie...EXCEPT the last day always seems to be a sticky one where I'm at my wits end"...BAM, the universe delivered what I asked for.

I don't even remember half of what happened today except Soccer Cleats being too small which seemed so similar to yesterday morning's debacle with my daughter missing the bus because of ill-fitting shoes. I am convinced that all of the rain from last week made her feet grow a whole shoe size. This girl is NOT FLEXIBLE when it comes to having uncomfortable feet. My thoughts are...hey babe, 'get used to it', to have those fancy shoes you covet of mine (and wear daily when you're pretending to be an adult)...they ain't always so comfy...'suck it up'...but I'm saving that one when I really need to give her a zinger. So...shoes not fitting, that is one memory...theeen it was...yes...the STINKIN' Yamagotchi pets my kids talked me into 'floating their allowance to buy'....this was at 8pm, of course then they had to activate the bloody things and then, they pushed wrong buttons and they had to start over, then, they wanted to put in a secret code but forgot it THEN...then I almost smashed the little 'creatures' into the ground. So we figured out how to get them to sleep BUT somehow maybe we didn't read quite correctly because I keep hearing random noises from the kitchen where I have them 'hidden away' until we have time to really understand the things. Poor Monkey has grown a little 'scared' of the thing and actually asked if we saved the receipt so we can return it. I must have been INSANE to say yes to this toy...I remember as a teenager someone having one and it was a PITA (look it up)...why did I think they'd changed since then? So....shoes and 'little shits' (not the kids but the crazy toys...well maybe a little bit 'the kids' too) have caused me to have nachos and Mikes Hard Lemonade (x3) for dinner....'Nuff Said!!!!!

Wake up call

Here is what I think the universe thought this morning:

Hmmmm....we have a dilemma here. Chief and her kids need to wake up to get ready for school. They're still sawing the zzzzz...how can I wake them when she hasn't set the alarm? Hmmmmm....I know, I'll give her a gentle 'nudge' to look at the clock, THEN I'll change the time to an hour later than it is (8:30 vs 7:30) so that she'll bolt out of bed and get her feet on the ground. 'Cuz, if I put the REAL time (7:30am) she'll roll back over and go back to sleep. Mission accomplished.

For some very odd reason I awoke, looked at the clock and it said 8:30...my first thought...Oh shit, I gotta get the kids up and out the door in 15 minutes. I burst into my daughter's room and her clock said 7:30...so then I checked one more clock and it said 7:30...I was able to 'stand down' my fretting but boy was I tempted to jump back in bed...the universe would not have looked so kindly on that response though...that is where the nudge would no longer come and the kids would be late and havoc would ensue.

So, I got everything ready in a very calm and timely manner UNTIL, my daughter decided that every shoe that she owned no longer fit and so the bus came and went (with Monkey on it but not her) while we negotiated the shoe crisis and I drove her to school....so in the Yin and Yang of this scenario, the universe decided it would help me get moving on my day, but she decided not to make it too easy. That was my payment for her creative solution to my need to awaken. Touche!

Well hello

I realized late last night that blogged as if it were Sunday. That was a curious realization and I decided to investigate what that means to me. It means that I was hoping it was Sunday so that my kids would be back in school again. It means that I was feeling grateful yesterday. It means that I wasn't in a very 'creative' space yesterday so the Gratitude was my easiest access to writing. It means that I have lost track of time.

These all are true. My husband is away until next Wednesday and I do kind of want time to go faster. My kids have been out of school for a week and I'd like to have my 'me time' back. My parents were here last week and the time raced by and so I guess I was still in 'race' mode.

This weekend I am feeling calm and contented. I feel at peace. My kids and I went for a bike ride that was great and very invigorating. I was able to get a baby sitter last night to connect with a friend and to work on a project we have brewing. My day felt very 'go with the flowy' and today I feel the same. It is beautiful outside. I have all the doors and windows open to flush out the winter 'stuffiness'. I hear sounds of birds and kids laughter (my own kids) as they play in the water (it really isn't that hot, but they have been playing hard). I have been spending time catching up on some internet stuff I am involved in and I feel like I've 'regrouped' a bit. So...in the spirit of gratitude today I list the following:

I am grateful for my mood

I am grateful for the warm weather

I am grateful for the sounds of MY kids enjoying life

I am grateful for time to regroup

I am grateful for the contented feeling I have

I am grateful for my deep breathing

I am grateful...PERIOD.

Gratitude X 10

1. SUNSHINE
2. Visit from my mommy and daddy
3. Emails from my husband (in Tokyo right now)
4. Afternoon playing tourist with friends
5. Catching up on tivo'd shows
6. Evening with my 'tribe'
7. Perspective
8. Questions
9. New welcome mat (made from recycled material)
10. Kids making their own breakfast

Ain't no sunshine when they're here

My parents were here for 6 days and it CHUCKED DOWN RAIN 5 of the 6 days. It was hard for them not to take it personally especially when the sun decided to shine just about the time that their plane took off from the airport on their journey home. The upside of the rain is that I spent some good quality time with my parents, my mom re-covered our kitchen chairs, my dad played Lego's with my son, my mother took my daughter and I shopping, we all went to the movies....all of that equated to either me spending quality time with my family (minus my husband who is in Tokyo right now) OR my parents spending quality time with their grand kids. I love my parents, I love that they come and visit, I love that I can still see them, chat with them, hug them and really know that I am connected with some awesome human beings. In fact, every time I hug them now, it is a real genuine, long, heartfelt hug. They mean so much to me that without that hug to last until the next time, I might actually expire. My parents are GREAT huggers and I thank my lucky stars for that. So until next time...here is an 'air hug' for you!

Questions

My intention for the month of April is: ASK.

My goal is to ask myself a question every day. Yesterday someone else asked the question of me in a class I'm taking. The question is Money equals? (name three things). I said money equals opportunity, choices, exchange (as in of goods). I knew when I was writing the words I was going for the 'social self, what would be a fancy answer kind of list'. If I really thought right now what money is for me....it feels a little out of reach (me personally not in my life), it feels like it is 'coming' but I'm not ready to receive it, I feel like I have some internal work to do on my thoughts of worth before all the abundance can come my way. I do have to say though that I am noticing that money comes in more forms than just the greenbacks. I have had opportunities come my way which I know will lead to my confidence and eventually my own money making. My husband bought me a computer, that will add efficiencies for which I can translate them into money. I got a brand new state of the art camera which will help with my photography income. So by changing the perspective of what money looks like and where it is coming from and in what form, I do believe that I am opening up new channels for understanding how I deserve it, how I can make it, how I can be grateful for it and how I can use it to serve both myself and others. So...long story short...I do believe that money IS opportunity, it is choices and it is an exchange....but sometimes I don't acknowledge THAT, I acknowledge the more 'stressful' side of it. My challenge for now is to continue to notice where my thoughts are going and then to CHOOSE to have a different more positive or better feeling thought AND THEN the opportunities, choices and exchanges will flow fabulously through my life!!! Amen.

Reading

My friend and I decided for our birthday to get our cards read. This is my first (I was a Tarot virgin) and a year ago, I'd have been freaked out to do it.

Now I'm feeling all metaphysical and really jazzed by thinking about things in different ways. Sara was a great reader in that she was more like a coach than an airy fairy palm reader. It was exactly the speed I needed, I'd have been frightened if she was telling my future instead of the way she read what was resonating in my life right now. All I told her was that I was in transition and as she placed the cards on the table and I was "shocked" by what was unfolding. All kinds of words that totally fit me and my 'transition' to coaching were facing me. She told the meaning of each card and their placement (which is also important) and each time she did, I had a huge smile and stirrings in my belly....it was my life, it was my attitude toward it, it was my pitfalls in confidence, it was where I needed to be bold. She also used many terms and phrases that I had recently either uttered myself OR that I had been told the day before. I wish I had a recording of the reading because I've definitely 'lost' some of the juicy bits but the reading actually 'rooted' me in my conviction that I am on the right path and that the areas where I do feel at risk I need to trust, I need to sink into gratitude, I need to be confident, I need to cultivate....all kinds of juicy bits. LOVE IT. Another thing I learned is that I should really think about the words I use and how I present myself because words have meaning and by choosing words that are belittling my impact, my worth, my gifts...it serves ME no good AND it also denies people the true impact I can have on them....I TOTALLY agree with this, but culturally it is very hard for a person and certainly for a woman to "own our gifts" and to confidently (not braggingly) share what we know to be true about ourselves and the gifts we bring to the world. I BELIEVE this. The word that came to my mind when she was saying this is the word "just"...that word epitomizes what she is saying...I'm sure there are more words and phrasings that can also 'soften' our impact but JUST is a word that doesn't serve me (or anyone for that matter). I'm "just" starting. I AM starting, I AM becoming, I AM. I'm just a mom. I AM a mom. ....it 'just' doesn't add value to my life, so I now will notice when/if it comes out of my mouth. I also will practice (in the mirror like Stewart Smalley) the words I use about myself. What do I tell the world I AM. We ALL are powerful, we all are only on this planet for a short time, we ALL deserve to live a life that has meaning and is joyful....I can go on, but I do believe that if we hide our 'gifts' from the world EVERYONE loses. So...get ready world....my gifts are going to be shared (and I know that they've already been for some time). To move with the metaphor of the gift...especially related to my 'transition into a healer/coach'...at this moment, I think I've narrowed down the store, and am in the right aisle of my 'gift getting' but now need to pick the right 'size, color, quality, quantity etc"...then I'll wrap it up, put a huge bow on it and offer it to the world...soon, soon, soon.