Gratitude X 10

1. One healthy arm (other still hurts like crazy)


2. Kids who feel sorry for me (mwaaaaa)


3. 12 happy kids at an 8 year old's party


4. Husband who had fun playing mad scientist at said party


5. Talks with my family


6. My husband's cozy sweatshirt


7. Relaxing Sunday (mainly 'cause my shoulder is OUCHY)


8. Spots of sunshine on rainy days


9. Tea with friends


10. Legos

Making friends with pain

I have somehow "injured" my shoulder. I definitely can use it but at some angles, I get a shocking burst of pain. I attribute it to some push-ups, weight lifting and then perhaps the contortions I made with my body when I went through my tooth torture. So, my range of motion is interesting. Here are ways in which I'm seeing positives in this...

1. An excuse NOT to workout


2. Finding interesting ways to wash my hair and take off clothes


3. Teaching my daughter to clasp a bra so she will be prepared on her own time


4. Interesting insight into what it might be like to "get old"


5. Being creative on how to use one hand more often


6. Laughing at how awkward it is to use only half of an arm


7. Gaining sympathy from strangers (and a little from my family)


8. Hugs from my kids to make me feel better


9. Excuses for why I cannot lift the box on the floor


10. Hope that this is only temporary!

I'm just saying...there are ways in which you can get sucked into the 'woe is me' kind of approach to things and the other way is to just 'roll with it' and see where it takes you. Perhaps this 'limited range of motion' is a metaphor for how my brain and energy has been working and it is a sign for me to just 'go with the flow' versus trying to push hard on something that hasn't yet been stretched appropriately...ie my confidence! So there!

Thoughts in the chair

Today I had my tooth rebuilt. Here is what went on in my head during the procedure:

1. Here I go for my annual poke and prod in my mouth



2. I'm an old pro at this



3. Boy that needle is big



4. This doesn't really hurt at all



5. Is she doing this right?



6. My mouth doesn't seem to be numbing



7. B-now b-my b-mouth is numbbbing



8. I hate the sound of the drill



9. I hope the damage to my tooth isn't too bad



10. Maybe the Dr. will be surprised at how 'not bad' my tooth is
    
    
11. She did not just say "lets go digging for cavities'!



12. Not bad



13. Not bad



14. Holy SMOKES that hurts



15. Squeeze your hands that might feel better



16. Scrunch your face that might feel better



17. Having 2 babies has prepared me for this pain, I can handle this, I can handle this



18. OUUUUUUUCH



19. YIIIIKES



20. When is this going to be over



21. She did not just say possible root canal!



22. OUUUCH



23. There are kids starving in Africa, so I can handle this



24. There are people going through chemo, so I can handle this



25. Maybe yoga breaths will work



26. Please be done soon



27. She did not say she is going to use a SLOWER tool for the next part



28. Holy MOLY (ramp that one up to a non-family version)



29. I wonder if I'll have new wrinkles because I'm squeezing my eyes so tight



30. I know I'm going to live....but boy it feels 'touch and go'

So...the story is that the cavity my dentist was working on was so close to the nerve that it couldn't be numbed at that spot and there was nothing to do but 'go for it'. So...I was a real trooper to the outside world but inside...you get the picture! I hope to NEVER experience that again...thankyouverymuch.

Nothing and then everything

Lately I've had days filled with "nothing pressing" and so guess what...nothing got done..donut, zip, ziltch, nada. Then there are days like today where I actually had plenty on my plate and guess what, I got a lot done and then some...morning pages (3 pages writte long-hand), 3 business-related tasks (a goal of mine to do 3 small things a day), ran, weight lifted, showered, downloaded photos, volunteered in my daughter's class, shopped at Costco, boogied home and unloaded, drove to a meeting (which was actually cancelled), mailed a package, returned library books, got library books, bought some coffee and a book, read for 20 minutes, drove home, put Costco stuff (dry goods) away....and here I am writing my blog.

I thought I could quickly find a Murphy's Law for this...but I didn't quite find and exact correlation...but I did find a TON of Murphy Law-esque statements that made me laugh. My one problem with this picture is....I am frustrated that I cannot provide my own 'incentive' for being productive regardless of what is on my plate. Where is that 'work ethic' that just keeps me chugging along with just some good ole' intrinsic motivation? Where is it I ask you? I believe the elixir would be that I had some concrete goal to work toward versus a general knowing that I want to feel busy, useful, engaged, connected, smart, resourceful and many more where that came from. As much as those are useful bits of data to know what I want to feel, I don't have a clear 'endgame'...like build a car, or sell widgets. I think I could do a little 'brainstorm' on this to get a bit more clear on targets to meet...then perhaps I'll be able to 'put one foot in front of the other'. Perhaps that will be a goal for next week...because tomorrow is close to the speed of today and I expect to get a lot of good stuff done...but not THAT. Until then, I have 'this song' running in my head...and it won't get out!

Have you noticed?

Have you noticed that my blogposts are bit on the uninspired side. That is your first clue of how I'm feeling right now. I will now perform my 'circus act' and coach myself out of this funk (based on the Self Coaching 101 model by Brooke Castillo):

Circumstance: No "tangible" progress on goals

Thought: I am uninspired right now

Feeling: Low energy, scattered, isolated

Action: Check email too much, randomly search the web, check facebook, put off errands and stay at home more often than not

Result: No clear progress toward goals such as website, networking, designing programs, outreach to obtain paying clients

If you look at the above you can see that the thoughts, actions and results are essentially the same in concept and so, if I remain in the thinking state of "uninspired" I could get into a bit of a spin cycle and be in this same spot a month from now. So...now I go back to this model and I try to access a 'better feeling thought'.

Circumstance: (always remains the same in this model)

Thought (better feeling): I am engaging in activities that inspire me.

Feeling: motivated, resourceful, active

Action: Reading books recommended to me, reading blogs that inspire me, brainstorming with people who "get me"

Result: I will be more "inspired" to take actions that move me forward in my business such as writing articles, talking to people who can lead me to networking opportunities, writing content for my website.

When I came up with this better feeling thought...I actually believed it and this is why...I could find times in this week that I actually have been inspired:

1. Two meetings with my "tribe" discussing the topic of coaching, intuition and changes in society


2. Read around 5 blogs that have enlightened me


3. Received my brand new business cards and am happy to have them in my hands


4. Coached 3 people already this week


5. Listened to a radio recording of an interview of someone who inspires me


6. Read another chapter in my book Think and Grow Rich


7. Continued to write my blog


8. Written "daily pages" for a week


9. Generated a worksheet for end of year review and planning for 2010 for my colleagues and clients


10. Generated a 'bucket list' of things I would like to focus on in the near future


11. Participated in my daily walks with my friend (good for 'downloading' about things)

So, in the amount of time I wrote this blog, I've not only increased my energy toward making progress on my goals, I've given myself evidence to disprove my first thought that I am not inspired. This tool is fabulous to move your thoughts 'down stream' a bit so that from a better feeling thought you actually might be able to see things you hadn't noticed about yourself before and be able to make decisions and action from a place of peace.

In my next act...I'll perform "the Work" on myself....stay tuned!

Rebuild

My teeth are AWESOME (not!). Every six months I get to deal with exciting new developments with my teeth. This time is what I knew would happen soon...my silver fillings are starting to "expire" (ie fall out) and have to be replaced. How fun! I have a big gaping hole in my lower molar that I am told is being exposed to the great environs of my mouth and are possibly "decaying my tooth like wildfire" (dentist's words). Friday is the 'rebuild' of my tooth (feeling a little bit like the 'bionic mouth'). Until then, I collect random bits of food in my gaping tooth and have visions of all kinds of nonsense happening in my exposed tooth. One day...one day...I'll get a good report from the Dr.

The party train has left the station

On Friday my kids had a Halloween parade and party. There were loads of cupcakes, candy, punch and other foolishness. I said to another mom..."this day begins the sweet-fest from Nov-Jan". It almost feels like a 'throwing up of the hands' kind of feeling like..."might as well not fight it". The cool thing though is that these thoughts are about my kids and their temptations. This year I actually feel hopeful that I will definitely partake in the goodness of the season, but I'm feeling a sense of moderation coming. This is new to me...so be gentle. I have had a few nibbles of candy but way less than years past. I think I'm chipping away at my issues with over doing it and how I CAN actually "just have one". I don't have it down exactly right yet...but I am often more proud of my choices than not. So...although the train has left the station, I am hopping on and off of it 'at will' and for shorter periods...as for the kids..."let them eat cake!".