Picture is of a crazy bird we saw at Disney in early January!
I know that interacting with people who 'get it' is exactly what gets me into the flow. Today I had coffee with a new friend...and just coincidentally my horoscope today read:
Since the Hallmark holiday of love is approaching, I've decided that my valentine to myself will be to honor all of the words and thoughts I had about self love . My priority every day in the month of February is to check off every item on the list and confirm that I have practiced (if only for a moment) each of the 11 items which are:
That is the first word that came to mind as I thought about what to write today. No insights are coming so...I start with those words and then...what...hmmm...
January is traditionally not my most fabulous month and for some reason I thought that now that I'm more enlightened and zen about things that this time would be different...and, well, notsomuch. I have my hunches about why...but was hoping that those "excuses" didn't have to be the norm anymore. That isn't to say that I'm a drooling-mess-of-a-thing during this time; I just lack the skip in my step and I give into lazy days more readily. This weekend was the pinnacle of my slump and I was in one of those 'stages' where I knew that if I just got outside or ran an errand or maybe even get out of my jammies (for-god-sake) that I could trip the wire and reignite my energy...but alas I did not. Boy is it hard not to self flagellate on this one instead of roll with it. Yesterday I had a little spill over from my lazy weekend, but was able to get a little more juice in my day...then this news report ironically provided me the spark I needed. The irony is that some "made-up study" stating that yesterday was the most depressing day of the year had me sit up and feel giddy...I had an excuse!!! Yeah me! And now...I am feeling that engine revving, I have more plans, I have things to look forward to, I'm signing up to run a book club and so on and so forth. Curious though that I needed an external 'benign' source to tell me I was "normal" to get me going...what-is-that-all-about?
My husband cannot be trusted to take my daughter out on a date. The two of them are trouble. Somehow one of them talked the other into buying 3 fish at PetCo. I have a no pet policy at my house because WE KILL THEM. I gave them both the "what for" (but really in jest) and announced that I WILL NOT do any of the care and cleaning for these "things". AND if they die while I'm home alone, I am checking into a hotel until the "cleaner" comes. So we now have Killer, Max and Flloyd in our home. I'm curious how they'll survive this summer when we're gone for a month!!!!!!????? I'mjustsaying.
My daughter can spy the one thing that she shouldn't see with the eye of a hawk. Today I had a handful (ok really multiple handfuls) of tootsie rolls (they rank up there with jelly beans) and she totally busted me within 1 minute of coming home from school even when I tried to 'hide the evidence'. It frustrates me to no end...but also makes me laugh. When she was 2 years old she totally saw her Santa gift (the princess castle was stored NOT OUT OF SIGHT by my husband in the walk in attic). I had to practically stand on my head and do circus acts to convince her that she in fact DID NOT see her gift. Who knows if she believed me? You can't get anything by that girl...and I know one day that will prove to be a useful gift, but for now, CAN'T A MOM INDULGE IN PEACE?
Here is how the story goes. When I say something I stick to it (mostly). So, in 1998 when I said I would run the London Marathon, I meant it...and I did it. When I say I'm going to write my blog every day (mostly) I do it. When I say that I will give up junk food from January until Easter I do it. HOWEVER, recently I have been making a conscious decision to start really thinking about what I'm 'sticking to' and deciding when and where I might want some flexibility or change. I do like how I can persevere at things. I believe I inherited that skill from my dear Father. I know I'll continue exercising this ability in some areas of my life...but I am now willing to change my mind if I wish, or redirect my actions where I see fit, especially if I see it as something that will serve me even better. So, last year I broke my decade tradition of giving up junk food from January until Easter. I was realizing that although I was proud of my willpower and commitment, that behavior was actually destructive because it wasn't honoring my ability to trust myself to exercise moderation. I wasn't believing in myself that I could say no to something and also say yes on occasions when I felt like it, and that I would know when to 'say when'.
In the 18 years (close to half my life) I've known my husband, I've witnessed a curious phenomenon. He cannot change sheets. This isn't necessarily a husband bashing party, it is an observation and perhaps dare I say, a fact. It is more often than not that he puts the clean top sheet on sideways (what I call short sheeting) and/or the pillow case will have the seam directly across the place where you lay your face. In the past, this would bother me and I would make statements like..."I cannot believe that you advize CEOs with multi-million dollar budgets but you cannot seem to figure out how to make a bed (this would be in more of a joke form than a chastizing form...but probably one could argue that they have the same result). I still say that in my head (and sometimes out loud) but I say it now with a true laughing spirit. I find it fascinating that 18 years later it still is the same. Just yesterday, I went to make the bed and low and behold the sheets were hanging way too long on each side of the bed indicating another short sheeting. I laughed and had truly endearing thoughts about my husband.
I had this goal of writing my blog first thing in the morning because I have 'things to do and people to see'. Guess what, my mind is a blank slate. I feel good inside, I'm actively engaging in stuff that brings me the most joy, I'm almost finished with my 3rd library book of the year and the 4th is at the ready which is Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert.
Today is my day that I feel as though I am 'put back together' from the hub-bub of the holidays and my 10 days back east. The house is 'just so', laundry is one load away from done, kids are in a good routine, I have lists and I am checking items off as I go, I am sleeping on a more regular schedule (ish), and today I start back with my clients.
My word for 2010 started as witness, then moved to notice, however through a meaty conversation with my master mind group yesterday, I've settled on OBSERVE. My friend Dawn was encouraging me to change my perspective on how I make decisions and instead of going from a 'should do' perspective look for what makes me, me (inside) and look for more of "me" on the outside. She had a great phrase for it "More Me Now". As she was saying this I looked a my notebook I've been writing in daily and covering with words from magazines (kind of like a vision board). In the upper left corner I had three words patched together "My World Observed" (see picture)...it was a serendipitous moment where she was talking and I was looking at exactly the same concept...my heart started racing and I knew then that my word would be OBSERVE...and I will be actively observing my world both inside and out. LOVE IT.
There must be some growth hormone in the rainwater here in the PNW. This morning my son's socks did not fit, my daughters "got to" tennis shoes did not fit and MY toes were banging into my running shoes this morning during my walk. Our family might be shopping in the 'clown shoe' department before we know it. Geeze!
I finished my first book of 2010 (which happens to also be a library book). The book is called the Talent Code by Daniel Coyle. Very fascinating look about how one becomes great at something. The book reads a lot like Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers and it argues that breakout 'greats' are not born they are grown through a concept called Deep practice. The coolest thing is that there is a brain component in this that is a more recent discovery of its role in skill building. When one does deep practice (which is the act of trying something, failing and trying again until you've hit the 'sweet spot') builds myelin around the neurons in our brain. The more you practice the more myelin you produce which insulates those neurons/synapses so that it is a stronger path within your brain. Along with the deep practice (or actually before the deep practice) you need what he calls "ignition" and that is the trigger with which drives you to do the deep practice in the first place. Ignition can take several forms such as losing a parent and needing to fill the void, or witnessing someone "like you" doing something and getting the sense that you can do it too, or the pure exposure to something that sparks a passion in you. A final component of what makes the greats "great" is master coaches which are those skilled leaders that guide the student through their deep practice through perceptiveness, directive commands, and motivation. Coyle researched 'hotbeds' of talent where more talent is produced from one area that most (eg Renaissance artists in Florence, Brazilian soccer greats, Russian tennis stars, South Korean women golfers). It turns out that the combination of ignition (eg watching someone like you succeeding), deep practice techniques (breaking skill down to is component parts), and master coaches are what seems to be the elixir for creating 'more greats' from one area than most. Besides looking at sports, art, music and the such, Coyle showed how this applies to education by highlighting the innovative teaching methods of KIPP (Knowledge is Power Programs) schools around the US.
I have but one resolution this year and it is this....I resolve to obtain all my 2010 reading material from the Public Library when possible.I don't have any huge insights as to how this word played out for me...but I have a strong sense that it was woven throughout all of my actions and thoughts and deeds this year. One thought comes to mind is that I feel that I learned to "let go" more this year and from that I've had some great things happen. I believe that letting go is the sweet spot for getting what you want and it is a tough one to pin down. Its one of those things that is like a feeling that I will recognize when I feel it but cannot make it happen an a whim...or at least not at the moment. To let go for me means I'm "allowing" the space for things to align which will be in my best interest and I could never MAKE what happens happen by being graspy and controlling over the outcome. So with that, I "allowed" a few things that I can think of:
Whatever word I decide, I will make sure that the concept of letting go/allowing is implied because I feel as though I would like to practice this more and witness what transpires...I predict some cool stuff coming my way...and guess what, it already happened...I got a present in the mail from American Express, it is a "cooler" shopping bag that affixes to your cart at the grocery store. It allows your cold/frozen goods to stay that way while on errands and such. I have been wanting one but it never made it to my list of things to buy...and Voila, it shows up at my doorstep in the form of a gift. MAGIC
