V is for Value

I am the PTA president. In my son's eyes I am all powerful at the school. In my eyes I am GULLIBLE (did you know that word isn't in the dictionary?). He thinks that I get special treatment and privileges. He often says, oh you'll get this or that because you're the president. I usually let him think that. The reason I don't let him in on the secret that being the PTA president isn't all that it is cracked up to be is a) I think it is AWESOME that he thinks I'm doing something cool (for now) and b) I want him to see that 'serving others' is something to be proud of. So now I talk about the b) one in more depth....

In the past months I've been working on my demons regarding money (mainly my relationship with my actual value and projecting and demanding that value of others who buy my services). Part of this complicated puzzle is my relationship with this one big variable in my life and that is the VERY ACTIVE role I play on the PTA. I have always struggled with my own interpretation with my involvement. I've never allowed myself to 'value' my commitment to the children at our school. I've shrugged it off as a 'necessary evil', or 'what I'm supposed to do', or 'what else would I do with my time'. I've never out and out said to myself, you are doing a damn good thing here and it is a gift you are giving the school and its community that is valuable and honorable, and should be seen as such. I think this little change in perspective would be one more 'layer' of the 'onion' that is my belief system around money that can really open up my options and my perspective. In my head I know that what I do is valuable and sometimes above and beyond the call of duty. I also know that there are other things I could be doing with my time. I know that volunteerism is something to give with your heart and have no expectations of getting anything back in return (but I do believe that things come beyond what you've given if you give from the heart). My head says yes...my heart is slow to believe it. BUT...I think the first step is acknowledging that you have a problem (right?). Now I need a 12 step program for valuing myself. 'Nough said!