Stop, drop and....

I am practicing a skill that is tough for me but one I think is worthwhile...and that skill is to "Stop and Listen". I have to say I am actually a great 'stopper and listener' when it comes to friends and clients and even my extended family because I don't see them that much...but it is the ones nearest and dearest (my nuclear family) where it gets a little tricky, but possibly is the most important place to actually practice and hone it.

So...with my husband when he is telling me about his day, I stop what I'm doing, turn my chair toward him, look him in the eyes and really listen and ask questions and participate in the conversation. I know my brain does some flips and wiggles every once in a while because either the kids probably need something, or I was almost finished with something else of my own. It is a learning curve for me, but I am consciously and deliberately doing this. With my kids it's even more tricky because sometimes what they are talking about is 'so not interesting to me'...or could be said much more 'to the point' and I'm tempted to rush them along...BUT...I am purposefully, stopping in my tracks, looking in their eyes and allowing them to say EVERYTHING they wish to tell me. I'm not doing this to be a martyr or anything, I am doing this because it isn't really the words they are saying that matters (even though those do too) it is the energy we are exchanging that matters and so if I lovingly and compassionately and hopefully unconditionally sit and witness the life of my family members then I've contributed to the cosmic goodness of human kind (in that moment) in the best way I know how. From there, they possibly will be able to do the same either back to me or for someone else. Another added benefit that I hope is true is that when my kids (and husband) really DO have something important, scary, confusing, powerful or out-and-out AWESOME to say, they will believe that I AM listening and that I DO hear them and that I WILL support them.

We're all connected and I believe the energy and intent we 'give off' is palpable so if I can come from that place of peace with my family...it feels as though I AM making a difference. This has been a learning experience and I am not always good at it, but be for darn tootin' sure, I am conscious and deliberately witnessing how I "show up" with my family.

A funny little story about this...my daughter caught me in mid 'chore' where she was talking with me while I was in motion to do something (probably wipe down the bathroom) and I stopped, in the middle of the hallway, turned and listened to what she had to say. At some point in her conversation, she hesitated and asked why I wasn't 'moving along' with my chore and I said..."because my sweet darling daughter (well maybe I didn't say that but I wish I had), you are speaking with me and I wanted to listen to what you had to say". Who knows if what I said to her had any 'karmic impact' but I'd like to think so! It felt like I was giving a gift and boy does that feel good!