Something in nothing

Yesterday I was speaking with a fellow coach and I was discussing my teeter totter of thoughts about what I want to do once I'm certified. Part of me wants to make it easy on myself and figure out how to latch onto someone else's star and be a resource and part of me wants to do something independent as an entrepreneur. My thoughts are that I wonder if I am reaching for the first to take the easy way out and risking 'going big'. When I think that thought, I feel 'nothing', neither excited nor disappointed. I asked my friend/coach if the 'nothing' feeling was telling me something and before she could answer, I knew the answer...yes. I think the nothing is a sign that I need to delve deeper and find where I will feel 'feelings' about my decisions. The feelings will be the guide or "compass" for knowing whether I'm onto something or not and those feelings should feel either exhilarating, scary (in a good way), scary (in a bad way), or just plain ICKY (to name a few feelings). The void of feeling, I believe, is a hint that I perhaps either don't want that, or am not clear on what I want right now and need to be like Sherlock Holmes to find the 'passionate' bits about what I want to be when I grow up...oh wait...I'm grown up...so maybe its what do I want to BE?