Inert

Early this week I felt a feeling, it felt familiar but not one I really want.

The feeling is one I like to call INERTIA...here is a lay persons definition of the First Law of Motion (remember Physics 101?)- an object will always continue moving at its current speed and in its current direction until some force causes its speed or direction to change. This would include an object that is not in motion (velocity = zero), which will remain at rest until some force causes it to move (thank you Wikipedia for this explanation).

So, the feeling I kinda' have is the "velocity = zero" feeling. When I have this feeling the self talk goes like this..."maybe you're not meant to be any 'bigger' than you are now", "your life is good as it is, why bother expecting more?", "maybe what you thought you wanted isn't what you want"...essentially the theme of the monkey mind is to talk myself "out of" the desire to build a career for myself on my terms, based on my desires, gifts and talents. I suspect that anyone who has moved from a full-on mommy mode to a mode of wanting to do something else can get in this state, or even someone who is changing careers and/or making any big change in his/her life. I believe I am not alone...but me-no-likey these thoughts and feelings.

The thing is though, that that feeling actually can provide comfort. It almost is protecting me from something...it is protecting me from taking risks that might be a little scary, that might actually knock me down sometimes and/or might actually make me have to take myself seriously and believe in myself. So as much as I don't like the "velocity = zero" feeling, it is like my well warn blanky of my childhood...it still comforts me BUT it is dingy, has holes, and has a 'stench' to it. Perhaps I need to figure out how to put my big girl panties on and figure out how to move the velocity dial, just slightly.

So...a trick for me is

1. NOTICE that something is off - for me I have an "I've been here before" feeling
2. NARROW - look at my thoughts that I am having about myself and acknowledge how it feels in my body
3. NAME - put a name to the feelings and thoughts - INERTIA

From there I can do some thought work where I can choose to turn my thoughts around a bit. There are several tools I have (the work, self coaching 101, etc), but recently my friend talked about coming up with an 'anchor thought' that helps to slightly turn the direction of my thinking.

So for me what is useful is when I feel INERTIA I can say something like:

"I am making small steps toward building my career" - and then I like to come up with 3 things I've done recently that make that statement true. My evidence that this is true is:

1. I went to a class last week to learn Wordpress for my website
2. I emailed 5 people about networking and possible collaboration opportunities
3. I continue to practice my skills with my friends and colleagues.
4. BONUS: I read a ton of good juicy stuff that keeps me viable in terms of connecting information to people AND people to people which is one of my strengths!

That turn of a thought gave me a feeling of forward motion (out of inertia), it is believable and I feel better. I was sent a "wish" this week and it really hit me as the truth and maybe this will be my brand new BLANKY for comforting myself, I'd be happy to put some wear and tear on this one:

May today there be peace within you. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.