BEGIN ANYWHERE

My dear dear friend Lisa sent me a card; out of the blue; just because and I love her for that. She is the best at that, and whenever I am buying a card for her (which isn't often because I am sadly a bad card giver), I feel the stress of knowing that she probably has 'seen them all'. Anyhoo (which is a word I got from her), this card was just what I needed and the words on it made her think of me. Isn't it lovely to think that someone thinks of you when you don't even know it? How many times is that happening? Wouldn't it be nice to get some sort of radar ping when that happens, so you can at least sense it and feel the warmth of the 'knowing' that someone cares...lets clarify it, let the ping only happen when it is positive thoughts. Sometimes I do believe that we do have a 'radar ping'. If we are really in tune with our lives and we are sensing everything that is going on without out the squirrelly chatter of our mind, we can sense it...and that is when you get the call or email from someone whom you had just thought about....that is the 'your ears must have been burning' times. I have been having more and more of these "coincidences" and as much as it is woo woo and maybe you might think I've gone off the deep end, I think that there is something there. Call me crazy...I'm cool with that...I like thinking and believing that there is something to this...so there.

Anyhoo...let me get back to the card. The card that my friend chose is simple. White with black letters. Two words (well 4 because it has the name of the author of the quote). It reads BEGIN ANYWHERE (JOHN CAGE). Lisa said in her message that I "live" these words. Guess what though, my squirrelly mind said almost as if it was a whisper in my ear..."No you don't".

Wow...what is that all about? So...right now, this very moment, I will give you what I call my 2 minute dialog (with no editing) of what I think this means. This to me is the best way to get at what I really think...almost like accessing the true me...maybe even like a trance....so here goes.

I can see how I give off the sense that I "begin anywhere" because I am the type of gal to try anything, move anywhere, start new things, 'give a go at it'...but I don't know that I've given myself credit for that. I also think that I might do these things because they are what someone else thinks I should do. Having said that, I started my photography thing based on a gut, but it was also because people said I had a good eye. I chose to do this coaching thing but it was based on a comment from someone in 1998 who said that someone else did it so maybe you should. I didn't necessarily come up with my "passions" on my own, I needed someone else to tell me. But, isn't that how all things work? You need to know what your options are before you know what to do. I think my inner critic actually was telling me that right this minute I am NOT beginning anywhere. Right now I am on a search for the right thing to do, the right niche, the right access point, the right time, the right amount of knowledge, the right amount of networking...but really what is the harm in just starting "anywhere" and moving along that path until something else tells me the right path. I think right now I am feeling an 'all or nothing' concept...where I need all the answers and as a result, nothing is happening. I feel stalled. I feel powerless. I feel like maybe this is all that I will do with my life (not necessarily a bad life by the way). Right now I don't feel that fire in me to just blaze the trail and figure it out as I go. What would happen if I don't do anything more? What would happen if I did do something more? The second question was the more 'scary' one...the first felt safe and cozy. The scary one is that I don't know what the something more is. I don't have the confidence in myself to just go for it and not to have any expectations for what the next step will be. My final thoughts (because my 2 minutes are up)......well, there are no final thoughts, my mind went blank.

INTERESTING. I recommend this approach to people. Ask yourself a question and then set the timer and then write for that amount of time and do a free flow thought process. You might find something fabulous, interesting, or you just spent time getting to know yourself...all is good. My feeling right this moment is that I don't have the answers but...in my chest, I have this sense that I want to explode that something wants to just break right through my skin out of my ribcage...very interesting....hmmmm....