Green

With envy....Ha! you thought I'd be writing an Irish blessing or something right! Fooled you.

In my 2 years of self discovery, I've been allowing myself to really notice my feelings; and from a place of curiosity versus judgment (at least that is what I TRY to do) I investigate what is the underpinning source of my feelings. One uncomfortable area I notice is where I can feel competitive and envious of people. Martha Beck calls this 'compare and despair'. My Utopian view would be that I wish happiness, sunshine and success to everyone on this planet - like Glenda the Good Witch...but alas, sometimes that just doesn't happen. What has been great about these 2 years is that I am more aware of the situations that trigger my comparing mind and then I can stop and sort of decipher what is going on with me. In the past 4 months or so, due to coaching and some therapy, I am realizing that the core of my comparing mind is around envy over people's ability to...have confidence, take risk, and believe they are entitled to do whatever they choose to. I lack that sense of entitlement (which I think maybe leads to confidence and risk taking). I am looking at the sources of this belief system (in therapy) and I'm also looking at ways to undo my limiting beliefs about myself (in coaching and therapy). I think this investigation and deep work is the elixir for me to really step up to the proverbial plate and actually play this game of MY LIFE to the degree I want and choose.

And NOW...I'll end with one of my favorite Irish hymns (thanks to Michele Woodward for reminding me of it). One of my favorite bands Eddie from Ohio sings a fabulous a Capella version of this...brings tears to the eyes.

May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

May the rains fall soft upon your fields,

And, until we meet again,

May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.