Groundhog Day

Every morning I have this groundhog day feeling. It is especially heightened on Mondays. It is the morning pattern that seems to happen EVERY DAY. I wake up, make my bed, go pee, brush my teeth, go to the kitchen, empty the dishwasher, fill dishwasher with unwashed dishes, fix breakfast, cleanup breakfast, make lunches, push kids out the door, take out clean clothes from dryer, put a new load of laundry in, straighten family room, make kids beds, wipe down bathrooms, fold a load of laundry, wipe down kitchen counters, sweep kitchen floor, put laundry away.

Well that was this morning but every morning seems a bit like that and it doesn't seem to vary...it is always the same things to straighten, same dishwasher to unload, still another load of laundry to do, kids forgot to make bed, kids didn't put their toothbrushes away, husband left the ironing board out. I don't even get grumpy about all the things "others didn't do" it is just the fact that it happens on a DAILY BASIS and it will not stop because that is what happens when people LIVE in a house...they wear clothes that need to be cleaned, they use dishes that need to be washed, they sleep in beds (one could argue that those don't need to be made...but...), they sit on couches and mess up pillows, they brush teeth and pee in toilets yadda, yadda, yadda.

I have found in this year that Momma feels much better when the house is JUST SO. So every morning I "JUST SO" the house before I do anything (unless I have plans like a morning jog with a friend etc). Once the "just so" happens, I can relax into what my day holds. But, I only get to the "just so" part and not to the deep clean, vacuum, dust, windex etc...that is where I get stuck. So, I am trying out the cleaning person dealio every other week to see how that feels (methinks I'll like a lot).

I have been observing my 'just so' patterns of late and realize that its almost a meditation that I'm doing to prepare for the day. It is very 'busy', it is very tactical and it doesn't finish until I get that 'just so' feeling. Then I can go do other things. Having the cleaning person does something else for me...it frees up that 'not done' feeling I get when I have a lovely looking home but 'to a point'. I know it may sound crazy but I think it is something that holds me back from making mental progress on things that I'm trying to accomplish in terms of my coaching goals. It is that little voice in my head that says you have more to do with the house AND you have more to do with your coaching, which are you going to prioritize because one has to give. That conversation goes on on a daily basis. I know that if I were working outside the home I would a) feel more confident about spending the money for a cleaner and b) would be away from the actual house so it would be out of site out of mind.

This being neat and clean is 'learned behavior' for me. I don't feel as though I have this innate clean gene that makes it a no brainer...it is a daily skill that I have to master...it is like working out, I don't have an innate desire to do it but I know I'll feel better once I've done it. I've NEVER felt the way it seems that athletes and "neat freaks' do...they feel compelled to do whatever it takes to continue on their path to greatness. I don't have that!