Perfectionism and Life

Right now I'm overwhelmed with the desire to take a month of JUST getting my act together. My coaching program ends in a few weeks I then get to gain certification through coaching hours (almost there), a test, and coaching Martha Beck. That all seems reasonably doable to me. I feel confident that I can do it and I in fact look forward to "the challenge". However, I have a little problem in my head. I feel as though I want to reread and re-listen to EVERYTHING one more time. That would mean about 3 good sized books, all handouts given in the course, all my notes taken throughout the year, approximately 20 hours of recorded sessions to and 'extras'. This desire is marked by several things...

1. I don't think I want the course to be over; I want more.


2. I feel that what I read 'way back when' and what I hope to read now could have a total new and deeper meaning now that I've had practice and life experience.


3. Our program closes down our online forum 90 days past our classwork ending.


4. I'll be meeting Martha Beck and many Master Coaches twice this summer and I want to be 'as prepared' as possible to be able to really take in what I'll be learning and experiencing.

The big problem is that I have this other thing called 'my normal life' to manage. I have other commitments that are getting in my way (parenting, sports events, guests, and PTA to name a few). I know that I can make the time, but the whole concept of juggling them all makes me feel like doing NONE OF THEM. I am going to have to do some serious 'scheduling' this weekend to carve out significant amounts of time to be able to put my 'do not disturb' sign on my door/email/mind and hunker down.

None of my goals are "necessary", they just feel like a gift to myself so that I feel as though I've accessed as much information in these past 9 months...hmmm like a gestation period....to birth my coaching practice with 'the knowing' that I desire (to carry the metaphor, I want to glean all of the remaining 'nutrients'- information- from the 'placenta' - my program). I know that I 'know' what I need to 'know' already...this is just the 'crossing the t's and dotting the i's of my learning' (to carry the metaphor - its like the final stages of baby development where they lay on 'fat stores' to be able to survive after birth).

So, don't come knocking if the do not disturb sign is up...I'm in the final stages...you don't want a premature coach do you?