A Mirror has two faces

My mother is going to love that I am blogging about this!!!!

So today my mother told me (and asked me not to comment) that she had gone out and bought 'cheap art supplies' to do some art journaling. Normally, I would say...good for you mom, that sounds fun, tell me how it goes. But, there is more to the story and it is RICH.

In February, my mother told my father that she would like to do more drawing and arty things...for her soul. So, the kind man went out and bought her some supplies. My mother's response was...those are TOO expensive. My first question is TOO EXPENSIVE for whom? They may be pricey BUT they can afford it, and my dad felt she was worth the expense. Fast forward to yesterday. She wanted to do art but felt the fancy art supplies were TOO GOOD for her artwork. SO she went out and bought cheaper (which is funny because now the TOO EXPENSIVE art supplies are even MORE EXPENSIVE now because she has double the amount of supplies for what she really needs).

My hairs were on end, my heart was sinking....why can't this woman believe that anything she does, no matter how big or small, is worthy of only the best. Why can't we all realize that we are worthy of gifts and we are worthy enough to use them (to the nub)? I was very honest with my mom and told her that I believe that some of my own 'worthiness' issues probably stem from this belief system she has about herself. I did not, in any way, intend to tell her this to make her feel bad, but I wanted to paint a picture that the belief system wasn't serving her well AND IN FACT isn't serving others very much either. What IF, the expensive luxurious art supplies inspired her, made her feel rich and lucious. If that is all that they did, they were well worth the cost. She will be a better person, a better wife, a better mother by realizing that she deserves great things in her life. As I write all of this, I am visualizing a 'big ole' mirror in my hand shining it right back into my face...because I need to have a little sit down with myself on this very topic. We can get all psychotherapy about it and find the "source" of this belief system (Depression Era parents come to mind) but REALLY is that valuable? Those parents are no longer with us and they really have no say in the matter (and they never really did). So, the beautiful thing here is that right here, right now, we can start shifting the belief and starting to broaden our perpective of what we are worth and how we are valuable and how we are deserving....we have the power to choose our thoughts and our actions....SO...I say to you, what are you denying yourself because it is 'too good' for you? OR, you are saving it because it is too special? Right now at this moment, I'm not sure what that is FOR ME...but I do have some new fancy face lotion that I was saving until my old inexpensive face lotion was used...so that will be my first step to "allowing" myself to have fabulousness in my life!

And by the way Mom, if you use up all your expensive supplies...I personally will buy you a new set because YOU ARE MORE THAN WORTH IT!