Polly Anna

I have been known to say that I have a Polly Anna life. I say this in both a grateful way but also a way that hasn't served me well. What I mean by that is that I often say/believe: Who am "I" to want more out of life when I've already had a great life?

This is some of the work I'm doing with myself to find the underlying thoughts and beliefs I have about my life and figure out how to turn them around. For example, I could ask "Who am I not to want more out of life?" Perhaps if I had more (and lets be clear that money is part of my discussion on this) I could be of service to others, I could be free to enjoy my life and by default my children would too, I would have more time (aka not cleaning the house) to be a better wife, mother, coach and volunteer. At one point someone asked me to give 10 reasons why I deserve more out of life and I followed through...but cannot bring them to my mind at the moment.

The reason why I bring up the Polly Anna experience here is today on my coaching class we were encouraged to acknowledge that where we have been "to hell and back" is a gift we can offer our clients as someone who has been there and can give you support and tools to work through them. I sat there thinking....well, I haven't really been to hell and back so who am I to help others?...a recurring theme. Maybe I should ask a different question...Who AM I? What do I have to offer? How can I be of service to others? How can I add value to myself and to others?

On the topic of "hell and back"....it could also be a matter of perception. Maybe I'm not allowing myself to see that there have been moments in my life that were hellish. If I look I could find a few that some might argue weren't all peaches and cream. Let me name a few...

• Moving often as a child (and interestingly as an adult).


• Having my father absent for months at a time (and resulting mother who might have been a bit stressed about it).


• Moving to Iceland (...need I say more?)


• Having a friend murdered.


• Being sexually harassed


• Having a few miscarriages

I do know that I have good coping mechanisms built within me that make me be able to 'buck up' when times get tough. Does that mean I didn't feel it when it was happening? heck no....there were tears shed, teeth gnashing etc, but somehow I knew that those events were not going to define me and I "moved on quickly". So, perhaps I do have more 'hell and back' that I can draw from to give perspective to those who need support. Also....I was given a great insight today about where I can be of service AND where I have actually gravitated as of late....I know what it feels like to move from being a full-time mom to one who has school age kids and who feels like something is missing....I've lived that model (and in many ways am still doing it) and know I can offer a perspective to others which might help them find passion and meaning as they transition. So, even though I have a rosy look at my life which has served me well, I also have perspective that I haven't given myself credit for....now I have something to chew on....so take that Polly!