Judge Not

Lately I've been very conscientious about when I am judging either myself (which can be a constant inner dialog) or someone else.

As for judging others....at the end of the day, we have no business in "anyone else's business". I didn't make that up myself but I'm leaning toward agreeing with this statement. In her book "Loving What Is", Byron Katie talks about 3 types of business...Ours, Others and God's/natures (she was "nonspecific" about the God part). She says the only business we should attend to is ours. I can see more and more where 'being in others business' can cause stress and discomfort either about my OWN self or about others. I have no ability to change ANYONE. I am not responsible for ANYONE's happiness. Who am I to judge other's choices and decisions. There is enough work to do on little ole me to fill my time.


I think I have a bit of a struggle understanding how this fits in with my job as a parent. I think there is a fine balance of nurturing and leading kids while also recognizing that they have choices to make in their own lives and they may not always be what I would choose. I haven't yet identified that LINE and certainly haven't started to hone the 'balancing act' on it, but I'm working on it.

Another area which is interesting is that as I chose to be a coach, I do 'get in other's business'....but I do it as a leader/guide/support where I have no true interest in the outcome but can help others find their own truth and way. Again, this is a fine balancing act because there will be some poking and prodding along the way to clear some paths, open up new territory, find some wiggle room within current limiting beliefs, but all of this will be done without judgement and without ME being in control of the outcome (because I don't have control over what someone else chooses to do or believe).



Now for the internal judgement that goes on in my 'mental theater' on a daily/hourly basis...this is also a balancing act. I can't always control what thoughts come into my mind but I do have choices on how I am going to attend to them. So for example..."Your house is a mess...ONCE AGAIN" would definitely be a 'trailer' in my movie in my head on a regular basis. I could let that thought consume me and create a belief system about my life and my 'control' over it. OR I could also say...how very interesting that I have this belief that my house has to be clean all of the time, is that true? OR....I could have a little tete-a-tete with the announcer in my head, you say this movie is about Messy Laura...well, I don't chose to watch this movie because, Laura is in fact pretty on top of things most of the time, the fact that there are young children in the house, and that she is busy a lot of the time with her coaching, volunteering and other living activities, that sometimes the house can get a little untidy, but she always finds time to get it back in order....Byron Katie (and now "I") would argue that if there is any time where your thoughts cause you discomfort, you can dissect that thought and find a better feeling one. The goal is to end needless suffering which can free you up to see life as fabulous, exciting, and perfect just as it is....that does sound like a panacea BUT it is what it is...whatever is happening at the moment IS and there is no use arguing with it. As Byron Katie says, when you argue with reality, you lose 100% of the time.

This blogpost is brought to you today by the morning inner dialog from my 'mental theater' at 5am ...thank you for watching and have a great day!!!!