This one goes out to the one he loves...

My son has a best friend. That best friend is his teacher Ms. C. If ever anyone asks about his teacher, that is his answer. How cool is that! He is so happy with his 1st grade scenario and I bet he is learning a whole lot too because she is a great teacher (Princess had the pleasure of her instruction as well). Sooooo, I have a theory about this friend business.

Ms. C. is so awesome, fun, loving and all the things in between. She also gives great hugs. Sometimes the hugs are just a child grabbing her at the waist (or whatever height they reach) and sometimes she'll swoop them up for a hug too (or at least for my family). I've even had a few squeezes myself because she is my friend too! Anyway, it just so happens that Nolan's head comes very close to her bosom area when the big "swoop up" hugs are given....Me thinks he likes the nice cozy place there AND HENCE...she is his best friend. Just kidding Ms. C.!

Stop saying my name!

Yesterday was the 'home stretch' for being a single parent. My husband had spent the weekend in Nebraska living like a college dude (except for the swank Hotel) cheering on his "Hokies". I was home with my munchkins who are a great set. I really never have any major issues minus a sensitive (to a fault) son and a pre-teen-Esq (to a fault) daughter. On the whole, things always go swimmingly. Yesterday I was "T minus 8 hours" until daddy came home and somehow I was on edge. It seemed that when one child had finished saying "mommy" the next was up with another "mommy" and so on and so forth. Out loud I'd say "yes honey, yes dear, yes darling...etc" in the inside I was saying "WHAT THE bleep IS IT NOW"!!!!

It seems that no matter the length of the travel, the last day or two (or hours depending on the duration of a trip) can be a doozy for me. Yesterday was no different. To top it off, my son decided to scrape his thigh on a rock...in my mind I'm all "Of course, 3 hours until daddy comes home and you HAVE to injure yourself!". Daddy finally came home, but he was "TOAST". At age 41, acting like a college dude is way different than doing it at age 21....so he was good for very little. Of course when I heard "mommy, mommy, mommy", I would say GO ASK YOUR DAD!

Gratitude X 10

1. Snuggle time with Monkey this morning
2. Watched the 1968 version of Yours, Mine and Ours with my kids
3. My husband's birthday trip to see VA Tech beat Nebraska
4. Spontaneous evening of drinks and gab with my friends (and their kids)
5. Networking event to start 'feeling what it feels like' to be a professional life coach
6. Clean sheets (I hope I get them done today)
7. Lovely weather
8. My daughter is learning piano (she's a natural)
9. Long conversation with my Mother-in-Law
10. Happiness

Contents of a desk

Things I cleared off my desk this morning.

1. Food plates from a few days of snacking
2. A Camera
3. A toy ball shooter
4. A Bra
5. My business cards
6. My books for my Martha Beck class
7. Some almonds
8. PTA volunteer forms
9. Math Flashcards
10. A 2 foot long souvenir pencil

That basically describes my life right now...Here is my self analysis of what that means....

I'm obsessed with listing things in a series of 10 and I'm very busy with many things going in many directions (but who isn't?).

I have photographs to edit, I have PTA details to work through, I need to help my kids navigate their education, my children played at my desk, I am doing some mindless eating (grrr), I needed business cards for a networking event which was in line with my new aspirations...and my boobs needed a rest from my bra. What does your desk say about you?

What's the word?

I frequently read Christine Kane's blog. I love her perspective. Her recent post is about writing about your 2008 "word" and how it worked for you this year. This "word" thing is her way of doing New Year Resolutions. I like her way better than the standard: lose weight, get organized etc...that sets you up for failure. One year I set very achievable goals, I said I'd grow my hair longer (which technically every day it grows longer so by Jan 2, my goal was reached). I also said that I'd use up my nice lotion (ie not save it for a special occassion); that too was something I could achieve. So, you see, I am realistic about my goals and I know that if I do the 'overarching ones' I'll never feel satisfied and will likely beat myself up. For 2008, I set my goal to walk 300 miles and I'm on the path to that. I think I'm at about 215 so I need to get moving.

Anyway, back to Christine Kane. She has a New Year "Revolution"...she says to pick an authentic word for you that is what you'd like to achieve/live by/feel...whatever. She even offers a list to get your mind thinking in this context (examples include: Delight, Generosity, Effortlessness, Wealth, Gratitude, Abundance, Creativity, Willingness, Change (guess who picked that word; Obama)). I hadn't found Christine until about April so I couldn't participate in this revolution, but really, on my own, I had chosen my word(s)....Happiness and Sunshine....so, I decided to write into Christine anyway for her to hear my story of how my 'word' played out this year...and here is my message to her:

I find it funny that I cannot find my word on your list and it seems so simple. My word for 2008 has been "happiness" (and sunshine). I've been striving to have happy thoughts, to be happy, to spread happy, to live happy and I've even made progress beyond my expectations. I guess I was looking for validation that it was alright to want happiness and it wasn't on "the list". That isn't holding me back. I've really blossomed as a person in confidence, in energy, in focus and in my talents. I started a blog "just out of the blue" called happinessandmoonshine.blogspot.com, I'm studying to become a life coach to make others find "their" happiness, I 'push' non-happy thoughts away with a mental hand when they try to creep in, I tell people I'm happy and it feels authentic, I am starting to even be happy about the things that used to make me unhappy (like house cleaning, exercise etc....I have a ways to go still). So, with this energy and happiness, I am ready to search for my 2009 word, Expansion, comes to mind. I'm going to spend the rest of 2008 putting it out in the universe and seeing what comes back to me to be sure that is the one.

What is YOUR word for 2008? What will 2009's be? Try it; it just might lead you somewhere you never expected!

Coming clean X 10

I have no idea why I've had this urge to write a list of things that bother me about myself, but it has been brewing. I decided to do my list up to 10 (it must be some latent OCD thing), so some of the things aren't that big of a deal, but why not just get it all out on the table. What is to come of this out-ing of my dirty laundry...who knows? Maybe this will give me incentive to change some of them...or just let everyone know that I am human and this is what you get when you are a friend, colleague, relation or just an acquaintance of Chief.

1. I do not like to work out and I can come up with all kinds of excuses why today is not the day to start
2. I binge on sugar (sometimes eat almost a whole bag of candy)
3. I often sleep in my clothes
4. I don't wash my face at night or in the morning
5. I have to shave my legs daily...all portions or else it HURTS
6. I have been sleeping on the couch more often than I should, falling asleep with the TV on and not having brushed my teeth
7. My closet is a wreck most of the time (I can claim it is the size but even when I had a big closet I had issues)
8. My car is always messy and I don't enforce my 'rules' when I do clean it, so it goes back to messy which makes me CRAZY
9. I watch all kinds of reality shows
10. I hate cleaning and gardening

The Future of ME

For my class I had to describe myself 3 years from now IN DETAIL. It is called the Endgame. Well, I'm putting it out into the universe (via Internet). Read below. I know along the way the words will be tweaked, my client descriptions will be more specific, and my desires might be different...but this is what it is for now.

It is 2011. I am a certified Master Martha Beck coach. I wake up in my clean “well-appointed” but reasonably sized (ie not too big and not too small) home. I go for an invigorating walk. I bathe and put on my current, stylish clothing (that includes some new and some ‘vintage’ pieces). I head to my office (in my house) to check my calendar. My week is busy but manageable. I have 5 clients to work with individually (via phone). I am also running a tele seminar about “living your best life” this week and I’m facilitating a meeting for business professionals. The clients I have on my list are successful adults (mainly women) who want a push to become better at what they do, achieve a long sought after goal, or would like to redirect their path to be less stressful and more fulfilling. I consult on a variety of topics both business-related and life-skill related. My schedule allows me to be sufficiently busy but is flexible so that I can be available for my children, spend time reading what I’m interested in (both to stay current in my work and for fun) and to have time for exercise and free time to do what I want. I also dabble in my photography business when the timing and clients are a good fit for me. I am beginning to write a column for a well respected journal which I’m planning to dovetail into a successful book.

I am making $150,000. This income (combined with my spouses) allows me to have a cleaning person, a personal trainer, take yoga regularly, weekly date nights with my husband where money is not a consideration in what we chose to do, a family trip planned and a trip with just my husband and me (where we fly my parents in to watch the kids). I am able to update mine and my children’s wardrobes in the way I see fit (I still will shop at consignment stores but more often). All of my home improvement projects are planned and/or in progress. I am happy, fulfilled, spiritually and intellectually engaged, physically fit, and financially successful.

By the way...the last statement....

I am happy, fulfilled, spiritually and intellectually engaged, physically fit, and financially successful.

I'm on that path now (pretty close)....so the details above are incredible additions to an already awesome life (at least in my opinion which is all that counts). By the way....Try this out yourselves....and then put it out into the universe and see what transpires, be specific, be authentic, feel the feelings of what it would be like with that life. Only good can come of it. Dream!

Peaceful easy feeling

Today I am feeling peaceful and I just thought I'd say that out loud. This week is very manageable. My house is somewhat in order. My laundry is one load away from being done. My homework is 80% done and not due until Friday. My kids were quite pleasant this morning. My husband loves me and that feels good. My only complaint is my tootsies are cold, but I can solve that with socks. Have a wonderful day. Peace.

LOL

I like movies. Some movies my husband would not like to see. Soooo, as a gift to myself, I've formed the LOL club. This club's mission is to meet once a month during school hours to see a flick that would not interest our husbands. The name LOL stands for Ladies of Leisure who Laugh out Loud.



The genesis of this club is as follows. I went to the movies in April with my friend to see Juno and felt a little naughty about it - I felt that since I don't have a "real job" I shouldn't be doing this kind of thing while everyone else is beavering away at work or school. Almost everyone in my life (to the person) made me feel the exact opposite. They said, "You SHOULD treat yourself. You work hard, you are a busy mother and you should make time for yourself". I still felt guilty but really enjoyed those moments in the theater watching "art". So, in September, I decided that in this new school year, I would treat myself once a month to a chick flick and NOT feel guilty about it. My one dilemma was how to get others in on my plan so I don't have to go to the movies alone. So, I emailed all my other friends in my same position and made a global invite. The movie and time was decided on by consensus for this month and the same will be done for subsequent months. I am the President of LOL and, at the end of the day, I will drive the time and agenda if people cannot agree....but I'm certain that I will not have to exercise my veto power due to the people with whom I 'hang'. So, Tuesday at 12pm, I will be seeing Burn After Reading with my LOL club members...wanna join me?

ps I think my husband WOULD like to see this movie so either I'll be going again to watch Brad Pitt and George Clooney OR we'll watch it on video...and I'm ok with that.

Gratitude X 10

1. Donut for breakfast (yum and I want another)
2. Vipers rocked the rainy soccer field (I'm still amazed that they listen)
3. Met my goal of providing a procedures manual to the PTA board (it was a long slog)
4. Emailed my bro on his birthday (I was scared I'd forget)
5. Did art in my daughter's class (how fun!)
6. Watched a funny movie with my hubby (it is fun to laugh together)
7. Had a session with my coach "buddy" (which felt good)
8. Photographed a cutie 2 month old (she reminded me of my daughter at that age)
9. Finished most of my laundry (I'm certain I folded at least 100 items yesterday)
10. I formed the LOL club (that is a post for this week...hold that thought).

I've notice that the parentheses have been flowing today...that might be a new trend.

Humming along

On Wednesday I decided to do something that was on my mind for awhile. I decided to research why I am drawn to hummingbirds. I have a feeder, I cut a picture out of a magazine when I did my vision board and I will stop in my tracks (even in mid sentence with a friend) to watch one when it comes by. Since about April I've thought to see if they represent some quality in me that 'resonates'. This week I had one of my 'coincidence' moments regarding hummingbirds and it came in a series of 3 events.

1. Wednesday I finally found a moment to poke around on the Internet to find some 'facts'. I found some facts, but none of them gave me that 'aha' feeling.


2. That same day, I took a moment to read my Martha Beck homework and guess what was pictured on one of the pages....a hummingbird.


3. I found a website for publishing children's books for a friend of mine and passed it along. I decided to poke around on the site myself...well...there is a resources section and there is a book called "Stand Still Like the Hummingbird" by Henry Miller.

So on that day that I deliberately decided to look up hummingbird information....I had 2 other unrelated and unintentional encounters with hummingbirds in a matter of about 3 hours. Yowza. Two things that I have to report now.

1. I bought the book by Henry Miller and it is a series of essays that TOTALLY speak my language about the state of humanity and Americans specifically.


2. Martha Beck's writings (that included the picture of the hummingbird) relayed a philosophical metaphor. There is the concept of the "Buddha Bird Push-Off" - and I quote directly..."According to legend, the Buddha used to illustrate his teaching method by holding a small bird in his hand. To take off and fly, a bird has to push off with its legs. The Buddha would keep the bird from flying away by dropping his hand as the bird pushed off, so that the bird didn't have enough resistance to jump. To help clients "fly", you [life coach] need to give them a solid opinion, then let them push away from it."

So, maybe these two sources will give me the "meaning of the metaphor" for me. In essence, I am "becoming" the solid surface for the tiny birds (my clients one day) to begin to fly into their "right life". Interesting; exciting; awesome....off to read more....and have you ever seen a hummingbird stand still?

Eeyore I love you

Tap, tap, tap.....Hello internet?...are you still there?

I have tried for 2 days to get into my account and somehow it didn't work. It took me two days and one husband to figure out that I just needed to turn the bleeping computer off and reboot. I don't think Microsoft will be calling me for that interview!

Anyhoo, the most important day I wanted to blog has come and gone, but I'll still do my bit now. My brother Eeyore had a birthday this Wednesday in a far off land, doing God knows what to protect our rights as Americans. Since I wasn't able to do my shout out to him via this vehicle, I used another...email inbox overload. My intention was for him to check his email and see a gazillion messages for him (not from me but people who know him (or of him through me)). I hope it worked.

Anyway, my story about Eeyore (and he knows that this is a term of endearment not of mal intent) is that he and I weren't the best of friends as kids. We weren't evil, we just kind of weren't. I DO have great memories of him in my childhood and such, but the 4 years difference in age and the fact that I took his spotlight as the youngest child made it difficult. Imagine having a new baby thrown into your position AND have that baby be the ONLY girl when you are 4. Now as adults I find that the tide has turned in the exact opposite direction. We do see eye-to-eye (and where we don't we just skip those topics entirely). I enjoy his company (and I think he, mine). I respect him immensely and I consider him a true-deep-to-your-core kind of friend. About once a year, the two of us sit down and have a long, long talk solving the world's problems (usually into the wee hours of the morning) and that is our 'check in' to make sure all is well (or at least manageable). Since he has taken on this challenge of going to War, I've even spent more time in that capacity (but not in person). It has been a wonderful addition even though ironically it involved a subtraction (ie he had to leave). With all this being said....I have a little bone to pick with my brother. You see, when I was little, he'd have me do things for him (like his chores, or running to get something for him, or just to torture me) with the promise of a diamond ring. Now 35 year later and I still don't have that ring.....I'm waitiiiiiiiiing. I love you Eeyore...air hug and air kiss (3 days late).

Watch out world

Tao (pronounced Dao) - Is an Asian philosophy which basically believes that we are born perfect and then life makes us imperfect. In contrast, Western philosophies dictate that we are born imperfect and we must work toward perfection. Tao is translated as "the way". This is my best description from my notes from my AWESOME class (on the phone) with Martha Beck. She is great about weaving all sorts of philosophies, religions, research, and basic tools to make the act of coaching seem actually Do-able as well as effective. So, she says the key to being an effective coach is with a T.A.O. philosophy...T - Transparent (no hidden agendas), A- Authentic (don't say or do anything you'd not do yourself), O- Open (no secrecy or 'closed books')....if we follow this approach in helping others and in our own everyday lives, we can actually help others and ourselves live 'happier lives'. I like this...I'm probably 80% doing it already, I'm working on the 20% and just so you know...you may be the recipient of this TAO and I hope it feels good! Ohhhhhhmmmmmm.

Eewww, Awwww

Today I was going to post about our experience at Wild Waves which is the Eewww of things. Then this morning I had and Awwww experience...so I'll do both.

Yesterday was a great family day for us. We drove a shorter than expected drive (45 vs. 90 mins) to Wild Waves. Four of us got in for $0 (we did have to pay $10 for parking). We spent the first half of our visit on the 'dry rides' and had a great time. We, as parents, now realize that Monkey loves thrill and Princess loves chill on the rides. Here are a few of the Eewww...

1. My belly when riding the teacups...something happened after having babies that makes these kind of spin rides intolerable.
2. Touching all the rides in the park that seem quite dirty
3. Watching someone wretch after the very mild 'Paratrooper' ride.
4. Still riding the Paratrooper ride (which did turn my tummy a bit)

Then we went to the "wet" part of the park and lets just say, I was dreading this a bit. Firstly, as much as it was warm yesterday, it wasn't boiling hot. So, water and chilly, not my thing. So, I was given permission by all family members to sit it out. As I was sitting there I thought..."I don't want to be the mom who is a 'Pansie' and can't try to enjoy this time as a family and MAYBE actually enjoy it in the process". So I bit the bullet, found my daughter (so she could SEE that I was going to take the "plunge"...pun intended). Well my first time down one of the smaller slides was Coooooold and I was not sure how long I could handle it. We then moved up to a more 'intermediate' level with inter tubes and the water was actually warm. The ride was somewhat fun but annoying too because I kept getting caught in whirlpools and unable to make it DOWN the slide (only spinning AROUND). The kids of course loved it, but I sat out the second run. Then I actually was talked into (and my husband did NOT want to go), down a really fun, fast, turny slide. I think I got "points" with my daughter for doing it. So, can I say that I LOVED doing all the water things...noooo. Am I glad I did it....yesss. Now for the Eewwww

1. Lots of people in skimpy bathing suits who shouldn't be
2. Swimming with all of 'tar-nation' in one big pool
3. Looking at the pool's wall and seeing the 'scumline' that is etched on the wall
4. Changing in the bathroom.

Through all the eewwws, the day was great and I know that we'll go back....but showers are REQUIRED right when we get home.

Now my Awwww. This morning my daughter finished her breakfast, pushed away from the table, started to head to the bathroom to brush her teeth, backtracked, and planted a loving kiss on her brother's forehead (on her on volition)....how can a mother not cry at that...I had a tear and my heart is so big this morning. I love my kids.

Gratitude X 10

1. A lovely Anniversary dinner with my groom
2. Walked most mornings with my friend in the SUNSHINE
3. A new positive approach to coaching the "Green Vipers"
4. Met my coach buddy for my Martha Beck program
5. The crazy PTA week is over (no more speeches for a while)
6. Friday night Wine Down (instead of wind down) with the neighbors
7. Sunshine ALL WEEK (and more to come)
8. Going to Wild Waves with the family today (for free: Thank You Microsoft)
9. The Green Vipers were AWESOME yesterday, despite the heat and the missing teammates; besides winning, they passed the ball to each other OFTEN
10. I get to meet Martha Beck tomorrow (well sort of, on a call with 27 other people).

Why is it?

Why is it that there are some people that you "just can't get it right with" when, in fact, you really want to? I've had this in social and working relationships. You know the situation where it seems that in every interaction you make a misstatement, or you forget to call them or you misplace something they gave you...and it keeps happening eventhough you really want to have a 'smooth' relationship with them. In my career as a photographer I've had a client here and there where I just couldn't quite get my "stuff" together and then all along the way with that one client, I'd make mistakes, lose something, the processor would mess up the film, I'd forget to call and on and on. None of it was intentional, it just was.

I'm starting to feel that way about a new client I'm starting with. I forgot to record our photo session date, which then meant that I scheduled a meeting on the exact date and time that I was SUPPOSED to be photographing. Then I lost their phone number so I couldn't call. Then they called me and I rescheduled (for this morning at 8am) and unbeknownst to me, they had called to cancel and so when I was knocking at their door at 8am...they were asleep and I looked like a stupid head. So....I need to turn this around and start on a better foot. I think there are 'practices' that people do where they envision their relationship working correctly and then you've put it out to the universe that, that is the way the relationship WILL be. It falls into the "Law of Attraction" philosophy. I'm going to have to do SOMETHING.

I had a similar issue when I worked in London. There was a woman who I could tell really didn't like me. I had to work with her on a project and she was my manager. She was often unkind, made me feel very "small and insignificant" and was a real pain in the petutie to me. So with that kind of 'set up', I was constantly making STUPID little mistakes all the time that she would call me out on and I couldn't seem to stop making them. One time we had been asked to lock our office door at a client's because we had sensitive materials (ie communications about a merger). I knew this and was all prepared to follow through. I was in the office but had stepped out for a nanosecond to get a sip of water from the fountain near the office...and OF COURSE the manager (meany woman) walked in at the very moment that I was not there....well she ripped me a new one and then some and made me feel even smaller and worthless....and so it goes. So, finally, I just had enough, told MY BOSS that I was not the right person for that project and was done with it.....so....again I ask Why is it? and How do I change it? I'm off to try to envision happiness and sunshine with my new client!

New Career

Yesterday, I was called upon to make a presentation to the parents of our school. I'm OK with the ad hoc, stand up and tell what's going on kind of public speaking (no slides just a quick rundown). This time, there was a nicely prepared PowerPoint prez (not created by me) that I needed to give facts, info and be persuasive. This kind of speaking I've not done since circa 2000. Let's just say I was a tiny bit stressed about this, but in a good way not in a "paralyzing-curl-up-in-the-fetal-position" way. So all day yesterday, and even in my sleep the night before, I was thinking, reciting my 'lines' and just making sure I was somewhat prepared. My one big issue is that I am NOT GOOD at following a script (so I guess Steven Spielberg won't be calling me- darn). When I get up in front of the audience, my mind decides to loose information but allows me to make a coherent presentation that may or may NOT cover all of the facts. So, at this point I'm saying my new mantras..."It's all good....It doesn't f-ing matter (sorry mom) and PERSEVERE". Then, I was hit with a brilliant addition to my speech...A JOKE! So, here is where the new career comes in. Maybe I'm a comedienne (yeah right!).

Here is how it played out. I introduced myself as the new 2008-2009 president of the PTSA and then proceeded to say..."Who knows? You may be looking at a future Vice Presidential candidate for the United States"...chuckles...then a serious Indian man (from India) in the front heckled...."you'll need to start wearing lipstick"...then I countered "You're right, I'll need to do some work like wearing more make up and definitely lipstick". Chuckles...and then I'm on with my boring speech. It was a great opener and it made the rest of my time up there bearable for me. So, I had to do the same boring speech again (as they had broken the school up in two sections). This time the principal had run long and I had little time (and they had little patience) for my schpeel...so I got up there, rapidly did my speech, yadda, yadda, yadda (or maybe more like the mom from Peanuts mwa, mwa, mwa mwa, mwa). Then as everyone got up to leave I said; "Wait! I have to tell you my joke from the first session"....so I did, and then there were more hecklers. Some of the Japanese mom's said "you need glasses"....I said, "yes, I have some work to do...a parent from the last session said LIPSTICK would help too"...laughs and whew it was over.

It WAS all good! And, I am proud of my 'whit' (as it were). Hopefully, I also presented myself and my cohorts on the Board as approachable, not-so-serious and maybe they'll want to give their money and time, just like my boring presentation said.

One word

Today I was going to write about the one word that has risen to the top for me to focus on in my life...but then I read my friends blog and he actually has the right word for the day....

Remember....

As for my word.

My friend got me a bracelet with lots of words on it like simplify, relax, reduce etc. I think it has 12 words like that. I was sitting in a meeting dealing with a challenging issue and, I looked at my new bracelet and the word PERSEVERE caught my eye. I said, "boy I'll have to use that word a lot this year". We all laughed and concurred. Well that evening I looked at the bracelet again, and that same word caught my eye, but it in fact says PRESERVE......I think for me persevere is what I'm going to have to be doing a lot of this year in the role of President of the PTSA, but really the word doesn't sound proactive, it sounds reactive. Preserve maybe that IS what it is about:

Preserve my sanity

Preserve my self control

Preserve my sense of balance

Preserve my time to myself

Preserve my perspective on life

Even then, in my gut the word does not feel like an 'arms wide open' kind of word it feels like an arms wrapped around trying to control, protect, restrict.....so....what IS the word I'm searching for?

But as it stands, for today, the word really is Remember.....

Food for thought

In my life, I've had several situations where someone has revealed his or her first impression; or impressions of a specific interaction. These revelations have made me think about how interesting it would be if we could have a 'performance review' of sorts in all of our social interactions. For example, what if what we think we've made a kind gesture but actually it comes across to the recipient as arrogant, insincere or, the opposite, amazingly impactful.

One of these said impressions I've left has actually been revealed recently. I've been hooked into a social networking group for my High School in Italy. A classmate (actually a few years younger) revealed that I made an impression on him. I kindly replied that I had hoped it was a good one and also indicated that I don't quite remember the details of said interaction. Well, it turns out he had a tiny crush on me and that one day on the bus I sat and spoke with him and actually touched him on the arm and that one interaction and gesture had an impact. Deeper into the story is that he had actually experienced a great loss (at a young age) just that summer. His girlfriend was killed in a moped accident and he understandably was devastated. He said that my interaction was the first time he found that there was hope for finding 'love' and that he would in fact have feelings that were beyond loss again in his life. So, WOW what an interesting thought for me...that, unbeknownst to me, I made a significant impact in such a little way. How many more of those are out there in my life that I don't even know (not in that same way, but maybe I've impacted a child's opinion of herself, or empowered a coworker...or something else positive...or negative?).

When I was in high school, my friend admitted to me at some point that when she first met me she did not like me. That was another 'awakening' moment. It made me wonder what it was about me that made her (or others) not feel kindly towards me. I know that when I enter a new situation I can be quiet and shy for a little bit and sit back and assess the situation before I get involved (some would be surprised by that statement). I guess that can come across as stand-offish or unapproachable....perhaps?

One other time that I was clued into how I come across was in Grad School. I went to school in the Midwest and it was definitely culturally different than where and how I had grown up. My classmates (who were mainly from the Midwest) indicated that I had, at times, come across as an East Coast snob. The funny thing to me is that I believed (and still do) that I am not at all a snob, I believe that I am the exact opposite of that, but I must have something about me that does not suggest what I believe. I think in Grad School there were some topics and things that I didn't participate in (belching, cussing etc) that probably were the cause of my 'snobbishness' and I'm O.K. with that.

In conclusion, all of these little snippets in my life have caused me to step back and really think that as much as a small gesture or interaction can seem insignificant to you on any particular day: You don't know where the recipient is coming from, what kind of day or life they are having and how it will impact him/her....a little, a whole lot, a life-changing amount or maybe not at all, OR it could really piss them off and you've ruined their day. Just a tiny nugget to ponder.

13 years ago Holly Hobbie got married

I always look at my wedding album and think I resemble Holly Hobby. When I was in High School a friend likened me to Nelly from Little House on the Prairie (who was a bit of a brat). Lets just say I'm a mix of the two in temperament.

So today is the start of our 13th year married. We were married on 9/9/95 which is a great one on many levels. One is that there are only 2 numbers to remember. It is also easy to "do the math" with that date (which as some of you know is not my strongest subject...but don't tell my kids). Another reason for this being a good date is that it puts a happy spin on the day which actually had a very sad spin the year before with the murder of a friend (not to get all morose here). So, its a good day, a good year, and a great marriage (if I do say so myself).

Both my husband and I have a solid pedigree when it comes to marriage. Both of our parents are together and so we have great role models for ourselves, our marriage and for our family. For us, it means a lot. I always like to say the 'not being married' is not an option and I believe that. I struggle with those who end their marriages because it 'belittles' my commitment and it makes me feel that marriage isn't a valued commodity (in the outside world). Well, it is valued in my world. It also is quite incredible that we have intuitively gravitated toward couples who also share our same value on marriage (with a few exceptions but I'm not holding judgement). That also helps for our bond to remain solid and stable.

I love my life, I love my family and I truly and deeply love my husband. So raise your champagne glasses and share a toast to our 13th year (and many more).

Harness the energy

This morning I kept saying to myself; "Today is the first day of the rest of your life". I know it is corny, but that is what came to mind. I was on fire this morning.

I woke up, got the kids to school with no issues (and that is good for a Monday), immediately went for a 2 mile walk/run, came home and straightened the house, made beds, cleaned bathrooms and then showered all in time for my first morning (10am) class with http://www.marthabeck.com/ . I'm so excited to get going on this new phase of my life. The program has so many interesting people, with varied backgrounds and approaches. It will be so cool to go through this process with them.

I have to find a coaching 'buddy' for the program. I put my profile up on the website...but funny...I have this feeling that I might be the 'last picked for dodge ball'....I don't know why. I guess I have to get the guts to go out and pick someone myself. Whenever I start something like this, I always do the naughty self talk about not being good enough....I need a little bit of Stuart Smalley sessions from Saturday Night Live....look into the mirror and say "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darn it, people like me."

Gratitude x 10

1. School started successfully (minus one day when Monkey forgot to get on the bus home)
2. Lunch with friends on Friday (that might have to become a regularly scheduled event)
3. Dinner at the Lake with Friends (goes in the book as a wonderful memory)
4. Long bike ride to a cool park with my children
5. Walks with my friend to keep on track with fitness and my 300 mile goal
6. Out for sushi with Princess (while the boys went to a baseball game)
7. Watching movies with Princess (Groundhog Day and a little of Legally Blond)
8. Family canoe ride planned for today
9. Time to myself to organize my office
10. My class starts tomorrow at 10am...excited and a little nervous...It's all good!

Bad News Bears

I'm the coach again for my daughter's soccer team (with lots of great parent helpers). Anyway, this will be about the 4th season together for most of the girls and so they know each other and the ropes pretty well. This comes with advantages and disadvantages. Advantages are that they actually know how to play the game, know their strengths and weaknesses and look out for each other. The disadvantages are that they can get into little cat fights and they can act REALLY bored at practice. This past week at practice was quite frustrating to me because the girls really had little energy, some said they were bored, many complained of 'mysterious ailments'; hence I was a grumpy coach. It is hard because at the end of the day, I would prefer NOT to be the coach, but it is a volunteer-based program and parents need to step up or there is no soccer.

Now that we've had one game, AND we won hands down, maybe the girls will have a bit of a skip in their step. I am also stepping up my game by trying to find more fun, active, fast paced drills for them at practice. One reward for them is Coaches against the whole team. I've done this for a year and a half now where I'll grab a parent or two and have us play the girls. The girls actually "love it", are more aggressive (which is a risk to me) and they seem to actually pass and play as a team better. So, that is my other trick...I'll threaten 'No Coach play' if you don't shape up.

More on the Bad News Bears. In our league most of the teams have matching fancy uniforms (with names and numbers), they have expandable seats for the kids to sit on a bench, and they seem more 'put together'. Our team is more a 'just get by' kind of team, we bought t-shirt's from Target for $7, we have no fancy bench, and often times we're all 'just making it to the game'. I'm certain at today's game the coach thought we'd be a cinch to beat, but we fooled them....heheheheeee. I know that is not good "sportsperson-ship', but it feels good to win regardless. Its all fun and games; right?

Picture is from last year....I'll have some from this year in a few weeks. We also don't do the 'store bought' pictures for our team, we just have me do the photos one Saturday before the game...its cheaper and more fun that way.

Bunny Birthday

Today my niece turns 16....one more on the road, so be aware.

Miss Bunny (whose nickname is probably inappropriate at this age, but in our family circle, it stays) is a wonderful human being whom I'm so delighted is in my life. She has a great sense of humor and can laugh at the most intricate jokes and a the most basic (like the ones my Dad tells- sorry Dad). We have a Bunny litmus test....if my dad tells a joke and she doesn't even laugh, then it truly is a bad joke. It is great to hear her laugh, see her spontaneously dance, or be competitive (just like her dad/my brother in board games and sports). The world is a better place with Bunny in it.

Happy Bday lovely lady.

Oh Sunny Day

The sun has returned and the weather is delightful. My vitamin D bank is back to full and I have a skip in my step. I'm still chock-o-block full of busy things going on, but they seem to take on a different life when the sun is out. I know these days are numbered so I am making every effort to take it all in. Maybe an evening walk with the family after dinner...which is on the table right this minute...off to nosh. Happiness.

Busy-ness

“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.”
Henry David Thoreau quotes (American Essayist, Poet and Philosopher, 1817-1862)

I was looking for some pithy quote about being busy and this is what I chose to represent me at the moment. Each day I think I'm on top of things and then...I'm not.

Today for example looks like this:

1. Get coffee for 'parent coffee' at school
2. Entertain new parents at said coffee
3. Do PTA 'stuff
4. Drive 30 minutes for a photo shoot
5. Photograph cutie petutie one year old girl for about an hour
6. Drive 30 minutes back to coach 9 girls in soccer
7. Coach the 9 girls (not really knowing what or how to coach) for an hour
8. Shop for a piano book for however long it takes
9. Make it home in time for said piano lesson (daughter)
10. Fall down in exhaustion...and then tomorrow it begins again.

So...hopefully the quote is true...I'll be successful due to my busy-ness. Universe...please comply.

To borrow a phrase

Free at last, free at last.....

I was suffering a bit today due to fun with friends on Labor Day. I even tried "hair of the dog" (a celebratory Bloody Mary with my friend) and that didn't work either. Note to self, no partying on a school night...I haven't learned that lesson yet...and I'm not certain that I will.

I have mixed feelings about school for the kids...I am excited for them to learn, but I also am empathetic to them in terms of the long days in the classroom and how many more years of this they have to go...it kind of makes my stomach turn. Maybe I have some deep seated issues from my childhood that I should be working through...3rd grade with Sister Elizabeth comes to mind.

I'm putting it out into the universe...this school year is going to be fabulous! Rock on!

My Mantras

As this is essentially the beginning of a new year in terms of school and my new course beginning next week, I am announcing my "new year" mantras.

One is "It's all good". I started saying this a few weeks ago and by chance it turns out that Byron Katie in 1,000 Names for Joy says that too...even if things are not so good. She essentially believes that all good and bad is supposed to be, it is the right thing to happen whenever it does happen, and even when it seems to be a bad thing..."It's all good".

My next one is something my mom wouldn't be proud of, but it is going to work for me. When I am sweating the small stuff or worrying about this that and the other thing, I'll be saying "It doesn't f'ing matter". This will be my survival tool for this year in terms of the PTA Prez and soccer coaching that I'll be doing. I'm planning NOT to say it for my Martha Beck coursework.

So here is where I start using these mantras....I did not make my 200 mile goal by Sept 1st. I was 2 miles short. However my house is clean (and I probably walked 2 miles cleaning it)...so "It doesn't f'ing matter". And, the fact that I was "this close" to making it..."It's all good"....Now I'm off to share some yummy pulled pork BBQ (made by my husband) with our great friends....It IS all good!